This Time Last Year

This time last year we saw our baby boy for the first time. Our son. 

Of course we didn’t know he was a he, but he was our baby nonetheless.

Two years in the making, we knew we wanted him more than anything, but what he brought along with him was unexpected but extra special. 

Little did we know that he would complete us.  

 

Little did we know that he would make us who we are today. 

Little did we know that he would bring us such undescribable joy. 

Little did we know that at 5 months he already has character and a massive personality. 

  
We’re not naive to say it’s been easy, or that we thought it would be, but raising him has given us a daily feeling of achievement. That ‘we made this’ feeling. That ‘we’re doing this!’ feeling. It’s unique and incomparable, and we had no idea we would feel like this a year ago. 

We can’t believe we’re in this place most days, can’t believe that our tiny beansprout is here, that he’s the same beansprout from the picture. We thought the day would never come, but here’s definitely well and truly here. So much so, we can’t remember what life was life before him.

K

A Letter to Sharon and Kate 2 Years Ago

Hello Ladies, Kate here!

I thought I’d write to you as a loving hand from the future.

Right about now you’re feeling pretty lousy. You’ve just had your 8th BFN. You’re feeling like this whole TTC malarkey is never going to work for you. You feel like you’re never going to have your family.

But I’ll let you in on a little secret. A secret we would have liked to have known ourselves 2 years ago, if not longer…

You will have your family.

I will give birth to a beautiful son and he will be your anything and everything.

You will love him to the moon and stars, and there will be nothing you won’t do for him.

There will be sleepless nights, cold tea,  and hurried meal times; but you won’t care. Not really. You will sigh and maybe complain slightly, but you won’t care. You have your baby.

You have your family.

We’re so happy right now, life couldn’t be better. We can’t wait for you to feel this, to see your son, to see your family as a whole.

You. Will. Love. It. It really is everything you’re currently dreaming of and more.

Stay strong, ladies. It’ll be worth it in the end.

Kate

29w

Following a very honest post from Eventual Momma, I’ve decided to join in and share my hidden “gems” of pregnancy.  By no means is this a rant, it’s more of an amusing little entry about the fun and games of pregnancy. We all know the obvious things that come with pregnancy, but these are the ones people seem to “forget” or not mention. So I am.

Smells
I’ve always had a pretty good nose – I could always tell what S was cooking even before I got through the front door, however during pregnancy; smells such as body odour (including my own), gone off food, and things I didn’t know had an odour regularly invade my space. Some smells that I once used to enjoy have now become a stomach churning nightmare!

Back Ache
It’s still there, but now it comes and goes without warning. One minute I’m happily waddling (I waddle now) down the road, not carrying anything or walking that fast, and I get a sharp pain across my rump. It stops me dead in my tracks (one time half way across the road) and I can’t move until it relaxes.

Food
I’ve not had many food aversions apart from the physical look of scrambled egg. I’m happy with a fried egg or egg mayo, but no scrambled. Everything else has been relatively normal and for that I’m very grateful. I’ve not had any major nausea apart from early on and that was usually sorted with a ginger biscuit before getting up. The only things I really craved were pickled items such as gherkins, onions, and beetroot. Bugger knows why.

Bowels
Your bowels will change their dynamic regularly throughout pregnancy. Prior to pregnancy, I was quite proud of my iron stomach, however now I really don’t know what to expect every morning. I don’t even have to eat gone off food (not that I have) before I feel a little “upset”, especially with rich and/or overly salty foods such as Turkey. The only thing I am grateful for at the moment is the fact that I’m now very regular.

Gas
It happens – a lot. Both ends. I can’t even blame the dog now as even he moves off the sofa.

Memory and Baby Brain
I haven’t made a correlation as to whether my memory loss occurs when I’m particularly tired but at the moment I really suffer with baby brain. I can be half way through a conversation and words are beyond me – I forget what I’m saying or I forget the name of the thing I was referring to. It’s highly frustrating and the more I think about said item, the further it goes. S is really sweet and patiently awaits for my brain to engage although sometimes it’s been a good 5 minutes which is a long time!

Energy
During the first 12 weeks I had zero energy, that was expected and I dealt with it. After 15 weeks I got my energy back and it was great, however now my energy really fluctuates. Some days I can get up in the morning, make some breakfast and put a wash on and I’m almost asleep. Other days, like New Years, I can be up from 9am, cook breakfast, walk the dog, quickly hoover the house, and I’m still up and raring to go at 1am!

Sex
Leading on nicely from energy… the first to the beginning of the second trimester, it was a no thanks. I was tired, achey and felt fat. I was also conscious of a very tiny beansprout. End of second trimester, however, and into the third – yes please.

Hair
We’re told our hair and nails will grow rapidly during pregnancy but to be honest I’ve actually found my head hair slowing down in growth which is an absolute godsend as I’m forever getting my hair cut or putting half a tub of product in to tame the beast. “Other” hair, however, is growing like I’m rolling around in fertiliser. I can shave my legs and by 2 days later you wouldn’t have known it, I almost start itching from growth on my underarms a few hours after shaving!

Whats worse is that I’m now having difficulty bending over, so don’t even talk to me about what I’m going to do “down there”.

Hunger
They say that hunger will subside after the first trimester and come back slightly in the third as the baby grows at a faster rate, but for me it’s never stopped. I can eat a relatively good breakfast containing wheat or carbs and 2 hours later I’m starting to get hungry. I usually have milk or juice with breakfast, not to mention regular water breaks, however nothing can keep the hunger away for any longer than 2 hours – and don’t get me started on days when I’ve been active!
It’s really got me down sometimes as I really don’t want to work my socks off trying to get ay excess weight off, I also don’t feel very sexy in myself. I guess it’s something that has just affected me a lot more – I haven’t noticed a massive gain on my face or arms, and S hasn’t noticed anything, but I guess this bump will always divert the attention away from anywhere else – I guess we’ll have to see the damage after beansprout arrives.

The third trimester is by far the best trimester,. You feel sexy, your energy is somewhat returning, you have a nice bump (which people will still remind you of) and it’s not long until the arrival.

Although I have less than 12 weeks to go now, I feel bad that I haven’t shared more of these updates; they really have been fun to read back on. I’ve also been taking weekly bump photo’s but again I feel bad and wish I’d thought of something more creative when taking them. Nevertheless, they’ve been fun to look back on so I highly recommend getting into the habit of taking them if you’re currently pregnant, your beautiful body really does change – and quickly!

K

27w

We made it!! I am OFFICIALLY in my third trimester with approximately 3 months to go until the due date, 3 months until Beansprout makes their arrival. It really isn’t that long now (and breath) and I know time will probably fly, the last 3 months sure have!

At the moment, I’m currently content with Beansprout staying in the oven (ask me again in February and I may have a different opinion) however once they do make their arrival, I am so looking forward to losing the back pain that I’ve been suffering with for the past 4 months – if I ever do lose it?!?

After the first trimester, I thought I was cheating pregnancy when I had had zero sickness, zero food aversions (apart from the look of scrambled egg – go figure?) and generally having an enjoyable time, however toward the middle of the second trimester I started really suffering with this almighty back pain. It started as sciatica-like pain but then it surged all across my lower back – it was excruciating, sometimes bringing me to tears. I didn’t do anything to bring it on, it just happened all of a sudden.

I know why it’s occurring but I just didn’t think it would have started so early or be so painful! I thought I would have done myself a favour having done a ton of gym work beforehand, but alas no. Nothing can clearly prepare you for the changes in your body when it’s preparing the departure of a baby from your uterus.

On top of this, I’ve had an awful cold for the month of December as well as a rough time sleeping due to said cold and general irritable-can’t-get-comfy-ever feeling in bed. I still use my dream-genii pillow, which I started using early on to keep me on my side as I’m a front sleeper, but some nights just don’t happen and I end up waking every 2 hours due to simply being uncomfortable.

Apart from that though, as I really don’t want to moan, we have tons to look forward to and do. We have our nursery furniture arriving in January, which will then be built by S sometime in February.

I imagine this will be the time when things will feel real for me. I know I’m pregnant; that’s obvious, and I know we’re having a baby, which is accountable by all the stuff we’ve bought for said baby, but at times I’ve somewhat forgotten that we’re going to have an actual ACTUAL baby by the end of it. An actual human being. So when their furniture arrives and their bedroom starts to look like a place where a little person will be sleeping, it will certainly start to feel real. You know what I mean?

On top of this, we also have several birthdays and events to go to and by the end of February I go on maternity leave! Gosh – that really isn’t long.

K

26w6d – Feeling Thankful

Every Christmas I try and think of all the things I’m thankful for, and at New Years I try and think of all the things I look forward to. They’re not something I have made myself do over the years, they’re just something I find myself thinking about or doing when S is finally home for Christmas and the festivities truly begin. Other years, it’s usually been around 3pm when I’m crammed full with Turkey, had a few glasses of Vino, and I’m cuddled on the sofa with S watching Home Alone/White Christmas/Hook/All of the above.

Over the past few years however, although I am always eternally thankful for all the things we have; a beautiful home, an amazing family, wonderful friends, and, of course, each other, it was always difficult to think of new things to be thankful for over the year as the only thing we had wanted and worked hard for throughout that year was a baby. Sure, we still enjoyed Christmas but there was always something missing.

This year, however, it’s all change. Beansprout isn’t even here yet and they’ve sure as hell already made a difference to the Christmas festivities! Not that I’m complaining, but this year I will be without the following:-

But as much as I jest about what I’m missing out on, I really couldn’t care less. I’d give up all the Smoked Salmon in the world (and I frickin’ LOVE Smoked Salmon) if it meant gaining a Beansprout. Likewise, all my Smoked Salmon in the world is not enough to say thank you to those that have been there throughout our journey – some even making this journey possible! So without further ado; trying not to sound like an Oscar’s speech, I have made a very small but thorough list of all the things I am thankful for:-

Our Donor
Quite a big one here – without them we literally wouldn’t be where we are right now. We’ve had our fair share of rubbish Donors and seen several who we’ve been thankful for NOT getting involved with. Over time we thought we’d never reach our goal, we thought “The Perfect Donor” didn’t exist, but then this one came along! They’ve been with us through ever necessary step, making the journey a whole lot easier and certainly a lot less stressful – again, something we didn’t think was possible. We are so very lucky to have found them. We probably won’t ever be able to repay him the gift that he’s given us.

Our Kinesiologist
Some say that they were just doing their job, but for us they opened up doors we didn’t even know were locked and bolted shut! We went in blind when we went to see Kate, we really had no idea what a good Kinesiologist was and what a bad one was – we didn’t even know whether I was fixable! On top of this, I cannot emphasise enough how little we could afford if TTC didn’t work for me – it probably would have been the end of the road – IUI/IVF was not an option financially so getting in touch with Kate was our last hope – and are we glad we did! She really did fix me and 3 tries later we have a Beansprout. For this we are thankful for the recommendation given to us, and of course to Kate.

Our TTC Community
Our TTC journey really wouldn’t have been the same if we didn’t have this wonderful community around us, and we are so very very thankful for being welcomed into it with open arms. It really does give you hope knowing that you’re not alone in this harsh journey.  To those that have given us advice, who have given us virtual hugs when we were at our lowest, and to those who have just listened – Thank you.

If you’re just starting out in the TTC journey, I urge you to communicate with others in the same boat – whether it’s via a forum, a blog, or even via Twitter/Facebook. The community is not only a wealth of knowledge and experience, it’s a shoulder to cry on if it doesn’t work the first, second, or even fifth time – these guys will understand wholeheartedly when others may not.

So there we have it. Only three things, I know, but to us these three MASSIVE things are what we are thankful for this year.

K

24w4d

I’m currently 24w4d. I go on Christmas leave on the 18th December (just under two weeks to go!!!) and return to work on the 6th January, at which point I will have around 7-8 weeks until I go off on maternity leave for a year. I apparently have around 15w to go until beansprout makes their arrival.

I recently discussed time flying, and how much I would like time to slow down just for a sec, but it really hasn’t.

Since our last post, and even before then, we celebrated our nephew’s 2nd birthday! Without getting mushy, I remember when he was born. I remember when he started walking. And now he’s 2! 2 years have slipped under my nose – I can’t imagine how my sister feels. His words are coming along quickly and he definitely is his own little character with his own personality. He is one amazing little dude. He laughs at his own jokes, and loves entertaining people – even if it sometimes means injuring himself! He loves to create things with lego and stickle bricks, not to mention create a mess. I love him so much and often miss him when I haven’t seen him.

I’ve also had my works Christmas do, which was enjoyable as I got to eat lots of meat (we went to a local BBQ/Meat smoking place) and despite not being able to drink I had a remarkably pleasant time watching others get drunk and be merry. I managed to score a nice maternity shirt for the event as well which was a bonus. I really didn’t want to wear my office clothes, although they are smart, but I couldn’t really afford to get anything too fancy/pricey but thankfully I found something smart and not too girly and fit well within a decent budget. It doesn’t show my bump too much which is a tad annoying, as I love my big bump, and so I then just look fat, but at the same time it does give me room to pig out and bloat out!

IMG_5907

A colleague of mine brought their wife who is 15 weeks pregnant with their number two so it was nice to have someone in the same boat as me (ie. Sober and proud) – we even chatted about family and other pretty grown up stuff not around pregnancy which was a refreshing change – I pretty much saw into our future and it looked idyllic.
I really enjoyed hearing their stories about what their daughter does now at 2 and a half (she swore the other day which was a hilarious story), it really made me remember why we got into this whole parenting business, we want to raise a little person!

Anyway!

Looking forward we have S’s works do, which always out does mine as she works in the private sector and everything is paid for by the company. This is nicely on the day of my last day at work before my Christmas leave. I’m so excited as those who work from Brighton always get to stay up in a London hotel as part of the event. The company’s summer parties are always in Brighton, by the beach (of course), and the Christmas parties are in London – perfect. On top of a night in a hotel, we get to enjoy an open bar! This year will be the first year I won’t be able to take advantage of this feature, but I sure as hell will be emptying them of their soft drink and juice!

Finally, after all that will then be the home stretch to Christmas. I’ve already done S’s Christmas shopping as well as our family shopping. We’ve decided to set a small budget this year as we really don’t want to be overspending what with a baby on the way. I say this like it’s a new thing but this year I’ve been really strict with S and our budget for each other. Most years, we set a rough guide so that one person (I mean S) doesn’t over do it but it never works out and I generally feel cheap after not being able to do as much due to a clear difference in earnings in comparison to S. Although my gifts are still just as awesome, it’s always hard not being able to be the naughty one when it comes to gifts. Anyway, this year, we’ve both stuck to the strict budget and it feels really good!

I can’t wait for the holidays to finally begin (they always officially begin once we’ve finished work, although I get into the spirit once the decorations go up). Although S thinks this won’t be as good of a christmas as others as I can’t drink or eat some of my favourite foods, I think it’ll be special as it’ll be our last one as a couple before we become a family, and this year I’m going to cherish every moment.

K