This Time Last Year

This time last year we saw our baby boy for the first time. Our son. 

Of course we didn’t know he was a he, but he was our baby nonetheless.

Two years in the making, we knew we wanted him more than anything, but what he brought along with him was unexpected but extra special. 

Little did we know that he would complete us.  

 

Little did we know that he would make us who we are today. 

Little did we know that he would bring us such undescribable joy. 

Little did we know that at 5 months he already has character and a massive personality. 

  
We’re not naive to say it’s been easy, or that we thought it would be, but raising him has given us a daily feeling of achievement. That ‘we made this’ feeling. That ‘we’re doing this!’ feeling. It’s unique and incomparable, and we had no idea we would feel like this a year ago. 

We can’t believe we’re in this place most days, can’t believe that our tiny beansprout is here, that he’s the same beansprout from the picture. We thought the day would never come, but here’s definitely well and truly here. So much so, we can’t remember what life was life before him.

K

K’s Birth Story

I guess the story begins at 9am on 7th April when I went into the hospital for an induction via a Pessary.


By this time I was just under two weeks late. I had already been seen by a midwife the week before for a sweep, but apparently my cervix was too high and she couldn’t reach to conduct the sweep – this miffed me slightly. I probably wouldn’t have minded if a little more effort to reach my cervix was made but it seemed she went in and promptly came back out, it’s like she didn’t even try!
Anyway, a few days after the non-sweep, I was at the hospital for 9am awaiting to be induced. I was so nervous. This was it – although in reality I still had the drip to come if this didn’t work, but it felt like I was finally in going to meet my baby.

I was briefly placed onto a heart monitor and was monitored for about 30 minutes to check everything was alright with the baby before they started. Once this was done, I was then ready to be induced! I didn’t really know what to expect, I had heard the pessary was like a mini tampon that released chemicals slowly to soften the cervix but when I saw it it was a little strip of paper no bigger than what you spray perfume onto.
The insertion hurt like hell as the midwife really went to town on making sure it wasn’t going anywhere, with this though, the midwife was some how able to advise me that my cervix was already nice and soft, albeit very very closed. Great – more waiting.

After insertion, I was placed back onto the monitor to make sure both me or the baby didn’t have any side-effects to the drug. As beansprout was a little quiet, I was then told to go for a walk round the hospital to get everything going and come back in an hour for further checks.
I hadn’t even left the hospital before a dull ache started. I felt bruised anyway from the insertion, but this was different – it sat right under my muffin top and was very similar to severe period cramps. Very quickly, I had to sit down every few minutes as I felt a huge heaviness down below – it was manageable, but wasn’t pleasant.
After the hour, I went back up to see the midwife, got checked over, and was then sent home to just wait it out. Before leaving though, I was booked in for the following day to have the drip put in meaning that within the next 48hrs I would definitely have our baby.

By the time I got home, the cramping had intensified 100%. I’ll be honest, it scared me a little. Not only was I not expecting such a sudden reaction, as I was told that the pessary was only there to soften everything but I wasn’t expecting the amount of pain! It was now uncomfortable. Throughout the afternoon, the pain was continuing to intensify as well as the duration in which the cramping lasted – I was already getting tired. The pain was so awkward I couldn’t lie down, let alone sleep. By late afternoon, I was finding it difficult to sit, stand, or do anything.

At around 4.30pm S called the triage ward for advice as the pain was getting worse – this must have been it, surely? No. They advised that this was unlikely to be contractions and was just “tightenings”. (TIGHTENINGS! I’ll give you tightenings). With this, they advised that I go have a warm bath, rest, take 2 paracetamol, and to give it a few more hours.

During the afternoon, the pain intensified – still in the same location. I ate some lunch but promptly threw it up due to the pain as well as had several warm baths.

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By 10pm I was in agony. I had pretty much stayed in the bath the whole afternoon pouring water over the bump. I’ll be honest, this was probably the first time in 9 months I hadn’t thought about beansprout. I didn’t think about needing to feed him, I also couldn’t remember wondering whether I may have been lying on him in the bath – all I could think about was this severe cramping. I remember telling S at one stage to just take the pessary out and I’ll just have to be pregnant forever – I was in that much pain. I wouldn’t have minded so much if the pain was spread out a bit more across the bump but it wasn’t – it was all down below. By now the “tightenings” were lasting for 3 minutes with a break of 3 minutes – I was exhausted.

Suddenly, things then changed – I got an almighty feeling that I needed to poo. I had no control over the feeling – it was so intense I thought I was going to push my intestines out. It was scary. Once this started, S then promptly called the triage unit and told them that we were coming in, explaining what was happening. Even at this stage, because my waters hadn’t broken, they advised that there was very little they could do and it was likely I would be sent home.

We had already arranged a few weeks ago that my mum would take us to and from the hospital and I’m so glad she did – it would have been so stressful for S to drive us. At this point, I was making quite a bit of noise – not as bad as some of those ladies on One Born Every Minute I must say, but I was vocal to say the least.

My waters finally broke in the car on the way – which was a nice relief not just for me, but for S, it meant I might actually stay at the hospital.

We arrived rather *cough* promptly at the hospital outside the A&E department, and S grabbed a wheelchair (no idea whether she turfed someone out of it, but she had one) and wheeled me to the lifts where the slowest climb to the 12th floor would begin. We were so close. Thank god for the wheelchair as there was no way I would have been able to walk now as I started to feel a burning feeling around a certain hole. It felt like something was coming out.

As I arrived at the triage ward, I was greeted by a lovely midwife who was so chirpy I couldn’t help but be chirpy back despite being in absolute agony and grunting. When S advised her than my waters had gone she simply responded with a “Oh how lovely! Let’s pop you on the bed”. She told me to get undressed (which was easier said than done) so she could examine me, and advised that she would be putting a monitor on me to check baby. I was a mess – there was water everywhere and I probably looked like a tramp.

As I opened my legs, the midwife suddenly shouted for a labour kit. Beansprout was crowing – and fast! Within 20 seconds, and after one giant push, he then plopped out on the bed. He was here and put straight on my chest.


Time of Arrival:- 11:25pm

Weight:-
8Ib 7oz

 
The next few minutes were then a blur to me. What I do remember is this; the midwives really read my notes through thoroughly (something I was dubious about previously), T was placed on my chest for skin-to-skin, the cord was left to continue pulsating as requested on my notes, S then cut the cord and was handed her son whilst I delivered the placenta (have you SEEN how big that bad boy is?! It’s huge!). My job was complete – he was here.
I was told I had a very small tear but it was nothing to worry about, but I would need stitches once I arrived at the labour ward.

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Once I arrived on the labour ward, it was time for my stitches. I must say, in my opinion, this part bloody hurt – and I’m only talking about the injection I had containing the local anaesthetic (that got a giant “fuck” “ow”). Thankfully, once everything kicked in, and I got handed some gas and air, everything was bliss. Finally, after everything was done, I got THE best tea and toast. I don’t know whether the bread they use is made of crack, but it was the best tasting toast I’d had in a long time. On top of this they also served it with a basket of preserves and a pot of tea. It. Was. Heaven.
After tea and toast I then had my first feed with T – it went suprisingly well, I felt so proud. I was feeding our son.


After a few hours on the labour ward where I was able to rest and have a shower, I then got taken down to the post-natal ward to sleep until the morning. At this point, S then left me and I got put to bed – not that I could sleep, I was wide awake. I couldn’t stop checking on T – not that he needed a thing, he slept the whole night.


There was only 3 of us in the ward I was in, and I certainly had the easier ride. One poor lady in the bed next to me not only had a c-section but also had IBS so kept wretching and crying – I just wanted to give her a hug. The lady across from me also had a c-section but was on a drip due to an infection – she was also having a rough ride.

The care at the hospital was exemplary. I was woken at 6am and told there was a small breakfast buffet and shown where the showers were. The midwives, nursery nurses and other staff were constantly keeping an eye on us throughout the night and were so kind. In the morning, a drugs cart came round and pretty much offered drugs like they were sweets, and then the midwives did their rounds; making sure we were comfortable. It was an amazing service.

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At 9am S arrived, and by 11am I was discharged and we were sent home. S looked so proud carrying T out of the hospital in the carrier.


The look in her eyes was unique, something I’d never seen before. She was a mother – and I had given her that. It was so special.  

The next 24hrs after arriving home were then a blur but it was a pretty awesome blur…

K

10 Things I Will Miss About Pregnancy

When I first started writing this post I giggled to myself and thought that with all my pregnancy complaints I wouldn’t actually be able to find things I’d actually miss. That, however, soon became a lie when I started thinking back over these past 9 months…

Not seeing Aunt Flo – For all the niggles that come with pregnancy, this one has got to be my favourite. I must have saved a fortune on tampons! I know it’ll make up for itself once Fidget arrives but it’s been nice not having a visit from AF every month.

Back Rubs – S hates giving massages and I’ll give her her dues, she does suffer from RSI – so a massage is probably the worst thing she can do apart from play on our xbox, but over the past few months she has been amazing at rubbing my back even without me asking. I’m going to miss being able to pull the pregnancy card on this one.

Getting out of certain jobs around the house – Lets face it, who likes changing the bin? I don’t, but I got on with. Being pregnant, however, has now meant I got out of it pretty early on as the smell of it turned my stomach. As I got larger, things that then required bending over such as the bottle recycling bank, weeding the garden, and vacuuming the car were not for me. Score! I do, however, make up for it in making sure all the washing and cleaning is done (incase you’re reading this, S).

My Belly – I know on my last post I mentioned the attention my belly and said pregnancy got me, and some people have said some stupid curious things about my belly whilst I’ve been pregnant, but this aside I’ve still enjoyed having it around. It’s comforting and something really unique, and I’m sure when you see a fellow preggo you get a secret little wink that says “Yeah… I know”.

Nice skin, hair, and nails! For the first time in a year I haven’t had the urge to bite my finger nails and in return, I’ve got nails… nice nails. My hair also doesn’t need as much washing, and my skin seems soft for a change as it usually dries up over the colder months!

Not caring what I looked like when going out – This feeling was a first for me as I usually made sure my hair was at least done, but this went out the window when I fell pregnant and will probably remain when Fidget arrives. The amount of times I went out with old trainers on with the first pair of maternity jeans I could find, and bed hair – classy!

Indulging – Let me start by saying that I have been so good during this pregnancy, I’ve continued my healthy eating and always made sure I’ve had more than 5 pieces of fruit and veg a day…. HOWEVER, if I’ve fancied something naughty like a cake or a chocolate bar, I’ve bloody well done it and not felt guilty about it either! I haven’t over done it but I’ve made the most of it at the same time. I know as soon as Fidget arrives I’ll be back on my bike and back on my usual diet… or I’ll at least forget to eat, so it’s all good!

Napping – I could never nap before as it would wake me up for the evening and I would have trouble sleeping later, but being pregnant found me a new love – napping. It really was amazing.

Being alone with S – I’ve had 8 years of this, and now that I’m pregnant the realisation has kicked in that we will never be alone again… ever. Sure, we may sneak in the occasional hour after bedtime, or a date night, but I mean properly alone where all we needed to worry about was us. It’s a bit odd, seeing as we spent so long trying to change that, but I guess you never realise what you had until it’s going soon – not that I regret anything! But, you know what I mean…

Knowing my baby is relatively safe – Inside me they get everything on tap; blood, oxygen, food, you name it. When they leave their little room of requirement however, it’s up to us to make sure they’re safe, fed, and well. It’s a huge responsibility.

Of course no post like this won’t come without it’s sentimental side, and of course the things I’ll probably miss the most about being pregnant is seeing my baby grow by the size of my belly and feeling my baby move and kick. I can’t wait to see them move and kick in front of my eyes, and be able to physically touch them, but having them do all this inside me has been a special moment just between us and I’ll definitely miss it.

What did you miss about being Pregnant?

K

10 Things I Won’t Miss About Pregnancy

Overall, I’ve enjoyed the Pregnancy. It’s an experience like no other and it really does challenge you mentally and physically. However, it goes without saying that regardless of this, there have still been some experiences I won’t miss…

SPD & Back Pain – This, by far, is my biggest pregnancy gripe. My back and later on, SPD, has exhausted me. It’s stopped me dead in my tracks and wiped days from underneath me. I haven’t been able to walk the dog as much – something I am sure the dog is holding against me – or been able to just walk around town like I used to. It frustrates me even more on days I have tons of energy and should be putting it to good use. I thought going to gym before pregnancy would have strengthened my back, but I guess nothing can prepare your body for this.

Panty-liners – Probably a little TMI, but I’m sure I’m not the only pregnant person that suffered with leakage of every kind during pregnancy.

Sleepless nights – I know, I know, I know. Those won’t go away once Fidget arrives, but my logic is that the sleepless nights will soon be because someone needs me and not because I need to pee for the fourth time or because my hips can’t take the weight anymore. I’ll have something to get up in the middle of the night for! You really do need to make the most out of sleep before pregnancy!

Being afraid to say something – I’m quite an outspoken person and if someone ever said something negative to me or S I would have no qualms about giving them an earful. Falling pregnant, however, seemed to not only put invisible tape on my mouth but I sometimes became very very anxious when I was out on my own. I don’t know why this happened, but I guess Pregnancy makes you feel more vulnerable.

The constant hunger – As someone who worked hard to lose weight, it really irked me when all the healthy things I continued to eat didn’t fill me up, and all I wanted was Peanut Butter on Toast. Pretty much until 7-8 months, I was always hungry even though I know I had eaten enough that morning.

The stupid questions – Pregnancy seems to open you up for all sorts of questions, quite personal ones sometimes – so this is certainly something I won’t miss.

Peeing! All. The. Time. And even the feeling of needing to pee and nothing coming out – thanks Fidget.
P.s. Peeing Normally!! – At 9 months now, I have to sometimes physically lift my belly to free my bladder that although is bursting to release, it can’t because someone is kindly using it as a pillow.

Hormones – Not something we talk about at home as I hate thinking (and being treated like) I’m being irrational and unreasonable purely because of hormones, but lets face it. I have been effected by hormones. Sometimes I’ve just wanted a cry for no reason. I’ve probably cried more in the past 9 months than I have in the past 8 years with S. So that’s hormones for you.

My favourite clothes not fitting me – I enjoyed getting new clothes, but I miss my old ones. The new ones are nice but they don’t suit me. I miss my chinos, my t-shirts, shirts, and jumpers. Maternity clothes have done me well, but I’m looking forward to getting back into my own style.

Being able to reach below my belly. Tying shoe laces, shaving, stroking our cats (Yes! The cats! We have two cats! Don’t be rude!), and even being able to see below my belly so I don’t trip over the dog when coming down stairs went out the window at 7 months.

Don’t get me wrong, if someone had told me or shown me how my pregnancy would be before even falling pregnant, I’d still do it. Nothing even compares to the journey of Pregnancy and if I could choose to do it all over again, I totally would – I guess I’m a sucker for pain.

K

40w4d

It’s no shock that I’m overdue, most first babies are. But when you’re told that you could possibly have your baby from 37w (full gestation), you kinda start to prepare yourself for the arrival at any moment. It’s been 3 weeks since 37w and I feel no closer to seeing this baby than I did several weeks ago.

Over the past 3 weeks, I’ve felt the occasional tightening, where it feels like a balloon is being pumped up inside my bump, and I’ve had cramping on and off, but nothing that would indicate that baby is on their way. Maybe all the tightenings and cramping is baby on their way but I assumed I would feel a lot more “going on”. Not that I’m complaining, as I’ve heard it smarts, but it’s all pretty relaxed at the moment.

Overdue Meme

I had my Midwife appointment last Friday (27th – 40w1d) and I’ve been booked in for a sweep for Friday 3rd (41w1d) and if that doesn’t work I’m being induced on Tuesday 7th (41w5d). It would be nice to have beansprout before this weekend as it’ll mean S will sneak a few extra days on top of her paternity leave for free, but I’m not so sure it’ll happen.

My midwife is awesome and probably would have booked me in a lot sooner for my sweep and then induction but because of the Easter bank holidays they now have limited availability this week (although the clinic I’m going into on the Friday is apparently for special appointments anyway as it’s technically a bank holiday) so the next available date for me is the Tuesday.

Fingers and toes crossed I have our baby a lot sooner, as I’m not really looking forward to the sweep, but knowing my luck I’ll go all the way to induction.

K