“Still”

adverb

1.

up to and including the present or the time mentioned; even now (or then) as formerly.

synonyms: up to this time, up to the present time, until now, even now, yet

I don’t often rant or mind dump, but the word “still” is currently becoming the bane of my life, especially now that I’ve been back to work a few times.

Are you STILL breastfeeding?

Are you STILL doing Baby Led Weaning?

Is T STILL sleeping through?

I don’t understand why there’s this need to ask whether a parent or baby is STILL doing a particular thing? Especially when that thing is something so obviously constant; such as eating! For me, it implies that there’s an expected expiry to that particular activity, and neither me or T have reached it yet. No?

When you change the context, the word sounds ridiculous when attached to other questions. Are you STILL going to work? Are you STILL taking showers? Are you STILL eating meat? The list is endless and no matter what you attach it to, adding the word “still” sounds like you should have stopped doing whatever it was by now. Ask yourself one of those questions. How do you answer? I can bet for at least one of those questions you answered; “yes, why wouldn’t I?” And therefore it’s the same for when someone asks me whether I’m still breastfeeding T, or giving him solid food, or whether he’s sleeping through.

The answer to the last one is “not anymore”, but who cares anyway?
Maybe I’m being overly sensitive.

By all means ask “HOW” the breastfeeding is going, “HOW” the BLW is going, “HOW” T is sleeping; but not “STILL”.

Does this bother you? What activities have you been asked about and whether you’re STILL doing them?

K

My Random Musings

The Breastfeeding Chronicles – Bit of a Boob.

This week, I read about a breastfeeding mother who, whilst breastfeeding her baby in a high street store, was not only asked to stop breastfeeding her baby and move to somewhere more discreet but when she refused, her baby was removed from her breast so the female could be removed from the store.

General view of Primark shoppers in Oxford Street, central London. PRESS ASSOCIATION Photo. Picture date: Tuesday November 4, 2014. See PA story. Photo credit should read: Nick Ansell/PA Wire

General view of Primark shoppers in Oxford Street, central London. PRESS ASSOCIATION Photo. Picture date: Tuesday November 4, 2014. See PA story. Photo credit should read: Nick Ansell/PA Wire

This story is what my nightmares are made of. I feel ill at the thought of being publicly humiliated by being asked to cover up/move/leave whilst I breastfeed, but to think my baby could be touched, let alone removed from my breast, makes me angry to the core and scared.

But you know what makes me even angrier? When stories like this aren’t true.

Yep. The woman apparently made it up. Or at least no evidence (CCTV or witnesses) have been found to support her claim. Why she lied? Who knows. But what’s worried me now is how completely damaging this has been towards the breastfeeding community.

Firstly, we breastfeeders have a tough enough time fighting against those that have issues with breastfeeding in public, not to mention fighting our own personal confidence issues when it comes to breastfeeding in public. A day doesn’t go by where there isn’t a story about how a woman has genuinely been targeted for breastfeeding in public

As a newbie to breastfeeding; if this story had been true I would have been mortified and probably never left the house, let alone visited the store in question. Thank god it isn’t, but it could have. I had a tough enough time gaining confidence to feed outside, and I don’t usually give a hoot about anything. I dread to think the effect it could have or may have already had on someone who’s naturally nervous/shy.

Stories like this, where the woman has been found out to be lying, not only make us breastfeeders look aggressive, like we’re going to shout and scream, or immediately accuse anyone who approaches us of harassment when they might not be, but it completely belittles our cause – giving any genuine bad experience room for doubt!

Secondly, and probably the most upsetting outcome of this, is that a popular breastfeeding Facebook page (one that I follow and have visited on a number of occasions for support) called “Free to Feed” is now in the process of deleting their page for reasons I have attached.


I am deeply saddened by this and have only become more angry at the whole, unnecessary situation.

I have no idea why this woman lied or felt the need to create this story – I’m not sure what her gain would have been. But what I do know is that she’s done some serious damage to the breastfeeding community this week, and those within it.

It is a sad sad day.

K

The Good Baby

“Is T a good baby?”

I’ve never really understood this term. How can babies be “bad”?

Is there an assumption that because they wake up at night or cry during the day that they’re bad? I don’t think so. I can’t imagine that what they’re doing; whether it’s crying at 4am, is intentional because they’re naughty.

Babies cry. Babies wake up at night. Babies sometimes require feeds throughout the night. I doesn’t make them bad babies – it means they’re growing babies, and that’s GOOD! Heaven forbid T ignores his soggy nappy in fear of being thought of as a “bad” baby.

Last week I was asked twice in one day whether T was a “good” baby, and it really annoyed me. Within a space of a few seconds I had to decide how to answer. Do I say yes and submit to a term I hate in fear of them thinking that T is a “bad” baby? Do I say no and hate myself for calling T a bad baby just because he wakes in the night and because of this, apparently classes as being a bad baby? Or do I stand up against the term and say that, actually, T isn’t a bad or good baby – he’s just a developing baby.

In the end I didn’t answer and just said that he works hard at just being a baby, and that I couldn’t be prouder. T is an awesome baby regardless of whether he cries at night or not. Sure, he has good days where he’s happy for me leave him or put him down, other days, not so much – but that’s fine because that’s him having a bad day, not because he’s a bad baby. They don’t exist.

 

Deciding whether to be bad today… yeah right.

 

The Breastfeeding Chronicles – Breast Pads

Thanks to Baby Shows and Bounty Packs, I’ve received my fair share of free nipple pads – not to mention boxes of them handed over from other mums (personally, I prefer chocolates).

The amount I’ve received has meant I haven’t had to buy any, which is a good thing as I have no idea what classes as a “good” nipple pad so I wouldn’t know where to start.

Since T arrived, I’ve tried pads from Avent, Nuk, Boots, ASDA and Lansinoh, and my conclusion is that they’re all rubbish. Not what you were expecting eh?

Sure, you get some that come with good features like a slit that can turn your pad into a cone to fit your breast perfectly, but out of all the pads I’ve tried they all have the same poor features, such as:-

– Poor adhesive. Whether it’s a long strip, or several small squares, nothing seems to keep a pad in place in your bra – and that’s without the action of unhooking your bra to feed which can often moves the pad around anyway. The amount of times I’ve put my bra back into place and accidentally stuck the sticky side to my boob because it’s folded over whilst in transit. Ouch.

– Absorbsion. I must say, apart from the Lansinoh and Nuk pads, every other pad I’ve tried has had poor absorbsion. They either don’t absorb at all meaning my boob is then soaked, or I actually go through the pad (and it’s not as if I’m leaving the pad for hours, these pads are often still dry around the edges).

– General design. They’re wrinkly and lumpy, shaped like saucers, and can be heard a mile away as they ruffle. I can’t wear certain items of clothing without seeing the obvious wrinkle of a breast pad behind my bra, so I have to sometimes layer up. They’re certainly not practical.

If I’m still breastfeeding by next month I’m going to be purchasing some alternatives to disposable breast pads such as washable/reusable breast pads or breast cups. With the washable breast pads I’ve heard they’re silkier and more comfortable – not to mention more eco friendly. With breast cups, you can apparently make the most out of the milk lost and freeze this as well, but I will have to research this.

Got any recommendations? Let us know.

K

10 Things I Won’t Miss About Pregnancy

Overall, I’ve enjoyed the Pregnancy. It’s an experience like no other and it really does challenge you mentally and physically. However, it goes without saying that regardless of this, there have still been some experiences I won’t miss…

SPD & Back Pain – This, by far, is my biggest pregnancy gripe. My back and later on, SPD, has exhausted me. It’s stopped me dead in my tracks and wiped days from underneath me. I haven’t been able to walk the dog as much – something I am sure the dog is holding against me – or been able to just walk around town like I used to. It frustrates me even more on days I have tons of energy and should be putting it to good use. I thought going to gym before pregnancy would have strengthened my back, but I guess nothing can prepare your body for this.

Panty-liners – Probably a little TMI, but I’m sure I’m not the only pregnant person that suffered with leakage of every kind during pregnancy.

Sleepless nights – I know, I know, I know. Those won’t go away once Fidget arrives, but my logic is that the sleepless nights will soon be because someone needs me and not because I need to pee for the fourth time or because my hips can’t take the weight anymore. I’ll have something to get up in the middle of the night for! You really do need to make the most out of sleep before pregnancy!

Being afraid to say something – I’m quite an outspoken person and if someone ever said something negative to me or S I would have no qualms about giving them an earful. Falling pregnant, however, seemed to not only put invisible tape on my mouth but I sometimes became very very anxious when I was out on my own. I don’t know why this happened, but I guess Pregnancy makes you feel more vulnerable.

The constant hunger – As someone who worked hard to lose weight, it really irked me when all the healthy things I continued to eat didn’t fill me up, and all I wanted was Peanut Butter on Toast. Pretty much until 7-8 months, I was always hungry even though I know I had eaten enough that morning.

The stupid questions – Pregnancy seems to open you up for all sorts of questions, quite personal ones sometimes – so this is certainly something I won’t miss.

Peeing! All. The. Time. And even the feeling of needing to pee and nothing coming out – thanks Fidget.
P.s. Peeing Normally!! – At 9 months now, I have to sometimes physically lift my belly to free my bladder that although is bursting to release, it can’t because someone is kindly using it as a pillow.

Hormones – Not something we talk about at home as I hate thinking (and being treated like) I’m being irrational and unreasonable purely because of hormones, but lets face it. I have been effected by hormones. Sometimes I’ve just wanted a cry for no reason. I’ve probably cried more in the past 9 months than I have in the past 8 years with S. So that’s hormones for you.

My favourite clothes not fitting me – I enjoyed getting new clothes, but I miss my old ones. The new ones are nice but they don’t suit me. I miss my chinos, my t-shirts, shirts, and jumpers. Maternity clothes have done me well, but I’m looking forward to getting back into my own style.

Being able to reach below my belly. Tying shoe laces, shaving, stroking our cats (Yes! The cats! We have two cats! Don’t be rude!), and even being able to see below my belly so I don’t trip over the dog when coming down stairs went out the window at 7 months.

Don’t get me wrong, if someone had told me or shown me how my pregnancy would be before even falling pregnant, I’d still do it. Nothing even compares to the journey of Pregnancy and if I could choose to do it all over again, I totally would – I guess I’m a sucker for pain.

K

One of Those Days

I don’t know about you, but when I have a day off or two I like to feel like I’ve accomplished something. Whether it’s completing the washing, giving the house a good clean or simply clearing some films off the Sky Box – I like to feel like I’ve done something productive. It doesn’t need to be memorable or life changing, but I need to feel like I’ve achieved something with my day. I hate wasting time with nothing.

In brief, it stems from the fact that over the past twenty-something years I’ve lost a lot of family members, family members who were quite young, in my opinion – so somewhere along the line something has been instilled into me telling me not to waste time. Now, I know doing all the washing or cleaning the house isn’t what you would call “making the most of time” but at the same time, neither is sitting on my back side playing Clash of Clans – at least with the washing it’ll then be done, or the house will be clean.

I guess the point of this post is that I had one of those days today where everything I had planned to accomplish went down the toilet. I planned to organise our Civil Ceremony photos only to find that we’d run out of ink in the printer. I planned to start editing a video we recently made, but couldn’t find the cable to connect the camera to the Mac. I planned to sell some stuff on eBay only to find my account is locked. I also planned to walk the pooch but it started raining just as I started getting him ready.
In the end, I organised all the photos on the Mac, watched some films and cooked S a nice meal for when she got home. Sure I did something, but it wasn’t good enough, especially for a day off.

S tells me just to relax, especially now and as it’s my day off, but I can’t just sit around – I need to do something. I know part of this is probably related to nesting and how I want even the smallest of tasks done around the house, but S will likely tell you I’ve always been like this. I’m quite proud that I have this mentality but at the same time I wish I could just do nothing without having to justify it.

As soon as beansprout arrives, I’m looking forward to the days when all this won’t matter, and all that will matter will be beansprout. I know there will still be days when it’ll all go wrong and things I’ve planned will have to wait, but I can accept that because I will have been looking after a baby all day, and those are the days when I know I’ll definitely be accomplishing something!

K