‘Just’ The One

This week, my friend Tom wrote a fantastic post about his reasoning behind why him and his husband are sticking to one child, and it got me thinking about my experiences and how it’s unlikely we will ever have another.

When we first started our parenting journey, our aim was always for the one baby. For us, it would have been greedy and somewhat optimistic to even contemplate having more than one when we hadn’t even been successful with one yet. At one point, we didn’t know whether one would even be possible.

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Night Terrors

When the screaming starts, you’re thrown from a deep sleep at a startling rate – trying to ascertain whether tonight is going to be a ‘Good Night’ or a ‘Bad Night’. Your baby sounds terrified and when you look at him he’s not with you. He’s often elsewhere. In his own mind.

A ‘Good Night’ is brining T into our bed, letting him fall into a deep sleep a few hours later – after you’ve been kicked and head butted as he get’s comfortable again – and then taking him back into his bed. With any luck, this will happen by 3am so you can get a few hours sleep before they wake at 7am.

A ‘Bad Night’ is bringing T into our bed but not being able to settle him until he stops screaming and crying through exhaustion (this can sometimes be over an hour) or you’re able to distract him with a drink of water, so that after drinking he’s calm enough to cuddle to sleep. Once calm, you’re not out of the woods yet, you have to try and sleep whilst a hot, sweaty, rather leggy toddler is rolling around or clinging on to you so tightly you’re stuck in an awkward position. With any luck you’ll get an hour or two of semi-decent sleep with your toddler.

Some nights, he’ll continue to wake throughout the night, even though he’s still next you, until it’s time to officially get up.

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T’s Reads: The Lego City ‘Busy Word’ Book (Review) [AD]

Over the past few weeks, we’ve recently started to introduce the next stage of Lego into T’s life.

He mainly played with the larger version; Duplo, previously, although to be honest, he still does, but when family bought round a tub of Lego, he was fascinated at the little pieces. He loved creating little cars or buildings, although he wasn’t too happy when we advised that a tower won’t be the same with Lego as it would have been with Duplo!

What I’ve always loved about Duplo is the vast amount of detail there is on each piece. Whether it’s a piece of cake, a radio, or an oil tank, the pictured pieces encourage the creator to think about how that piece fits into their creation. For example, T can place the ‘radio’ piece in both his car or his house (or both in our case, seeing as we have a few duplicates!). Moving onto Lego now means that T can create these items himself or build them physically into his creation.

The only thing holding T back now is knowing what the items are called and where they can be found. Which is where the new Lego City ‘Busy Word’ Book comes in handy!

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Celebrating ‘Fathers Day’ without a Dad. 

By now you should know that we’re a two mum family – so this isn’t what this post is about. When I was ten years old I lost my dad to cancer. It was two days before my birthday.

Father’s Days from then on were pretty bleak. We didn’t really have anyone else to celebrate the day with, so we didn’t. My mum didn’t go out of her way to replace him – no one could – and therefore remained as a single parent for a long time until she “came out” and we became a Rainbow family.

This year will be the twenty year anniversary of my dad’s passing and to celebrate we’re doing something a little special thanks to an invitation from the Star-Name Registry.

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Two Words: Potty. Training. 

With T being the grand old age of two we did not yet think we would need to even *think* about potty training, let alone buying a potty and then a training seat because he preferred to stick the potty on his head.

We’d heard stories of boys being particularly lazy when it comes to toilet training so we didn’t want to rush into things. Plus, we’re very much a baby-led / toddler-led family – why would you want to create more stress than necessary?

So when T reached the apparent potty training “age” we decided to ignore it and carry on as we were and watch out for the signs of T being ‘ready’.

If you’re not already aware, the advice according to Dr Google, in brief, says the signs that your child may be ready for potty training are:

  • You’re changing fewer nappies.
  • Your child’s bowel movements are predictable.
  • They broadcast their bowel movements!
  • There is a dislike dirty nappies.
  • Understanding the bathroom lingo (answering whether they’ve gone to the toilet, for example) and/or know the words for wee and/or poo.
  • Simple undressing such as pulling their trousers up and down is occurring.

T probably ticks most of these, but when we were faced with protest at the suggestion of sitting on the potty we stopped. One day, however, a few months before T’s second birthday, T started to tell us when he’d had a “wee wee”. So with this, we bought a potty and started introducing it around the house, inviting T to sit on it (fully clothed or not, whatever). He wasn’t keen for a while and often used it as a bucket for his toys or a hat, but we were in no rush so went with it.

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Facing The Fears

Let me start by telling you a story about fears…

It’s nineteen-ninety something and my sister and I are between 5 and 10 years old. We’re in France with our mum and dad, in the days before the euro. We’re walking down a busy French high street in Calais. It’s probably the size of Oxford Street. My mum is the official “bag wearer”. “The Bag” is this important bag that contained everything from francs (remember those?) to passports, our boarding tickets for the ferry, and our sweets. It. Had. EVERYTHING. in it.

Whilst waking down said high street; my mum, who at this point was (and still is) my absolute hero (I was a mummy’s girl, my sister; a daddy’s girl), starts screaming. The bag, which was this gastly white bag with gigantic flowers on it, had attracted an almighty butterfly. A butterfly that would have given batman a run for his money.

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