Visibility: Why We Do What We Do

Yesterday, I was invited to chat to Anna Foster of BBC Radio 5 Live about sperm donors and how there is now an increase in demand for them outside of the realms of the NHS. We talked about what we went through and what *should* be common practise when deciding to do at-home artificial insemination (AI).

It certainly wasn’t your average Monday and throughout the whole interview I was asking myself why on earth I was sharing such personal details about our son’t conception (legs up in the air and all). It was an experience, and whilst I was incredibly anxious about the whole thing I was driven by our story and getting it out there so that others out there could see some form of hope. That there are other options when it comes to conception.

If you would like to listen to the whole feature, you can skip through to 10:12 via the link above.
(I’m on at 39:00).

The main concern within the interview surrounded the regulation of certain Facebook groups where couples, usually Lesbian couples, can find sperm donors, and how risky this is. It also briefly explored how the NHS need to change their stance on when they offer support for same sex couples.

Basically, if the cost to have a baby wasn’t so high – then perhaps women wouldn’t be taking the risks to have a baby.

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T’s Reads: Alien Nation by Matty Donaldson

This week was National Coming Out Day. If you’ve not heard of it or had your head in the sand for 24 hours, it’s a day to celebrate the coming out of the LGBTQ community (as a member or as an ally). We’ve written our feelings about the day before, which you can find over here.

Founded in the United States in 1988, the initial idea was grounded in the feminist and gay liberation spirit of the personal being political, and the emphasis on the most basic form of activism being coming out to family, friends and colleagues, and living life as an openly lesbian or gay person. The foundational belief is that homophobia thrives in an atmosphere of silence and ignorance, and that once people know that they have loved ones who are lesbian or gay, they are far less likely to maintain homophobic or oppressive views.

Wikipedia

As well as a form of protest, it’s also an opportunity for members of the community to educate others on the language they use and advise others on what they can do to help those still in the proverbial closet.

In keeping with the theme, we were recently sent a children’s book that does this.

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Brighton Pride 2018: Why Pride is still important.

Over the past thirty-something years, I’ve been ‘proud’ of many things. I was proud when I got a few A’s in my GCSE’s (I know, I was surprised, too), I was proud when I passed my driving test, I was proud when I lost a lot of weight whilst trying for a baby, and more recently, I was proud when I conquered my fear of open heights.

Pride isn’t just about being proud of yourself either, you can be proud of your friends, family, and colleagues. Your neighbours, your congregation, your country. Pride has so much power behind it. It can empower people and celebrate a community. There is nothing wrong with being proud, however when used in the wrong way it can blind one’s viewpoint.

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A Letter to the Marketing Team of…

Dear Marketing Team,

It’s Pride season!

I probably don’t need to tell you this though, you’ve probably had it in your calendars since January, if not since last Pride. You’ve got your rainbow flags sat in storage ready to adorn the float you plan to place on the Pride parade, you’ve got your hashtags at the ready, posts scheduled, and maybe a few rainbow themed products already on the shelves of your local supermarket. You are ready to celebrate Pride!

But, as always, you’ve forgotten one important thing; the meaning behind Pride.

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Judged for being a Two Mum Family.

When you become a parent, you will inevitably be judged for the decisions you make. Whether it’s by people you know or complete strangers. Some people won’t even know they’re doing it, but you will. It could be about whether you chose the bottle or the breast, the way you birthed your baby, deciding over baby-led weaning or traditional weaning. They will judge or pass comment.

But how about judgement over the person you choose to fall in love with? Or telling you that because you go to bed with a certain gender or sex, your child will fail.

Don’t believe it? This exact thing happened to me and several other rainbow families just the other day.

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T’s Reads: LGBT Books: Two Mums & Two Mums and a Menagerie, by Carolyn Robertson

We’re always on the lookout for books that represent us as a family as we feel it’s important not just for T, so that he doesn’t always feel like a minority, but for society, so that they can accept, and dare I say it, ‘normalise’ us as a family unit.

If you visit your local library or book shop, it’s very rare that you’ll see many stories that show same sex families living every day lives like other stories on the shelves. More often than not, you’ll see books that ‘educate’ readers about different families, but there aren’t many than don’t make a point of the family being a same sex family.

Carolyn Robertson and her partner are adoptive mums to two boys, and began her publishing platform ‘Sparklypoo‘ in 2014 as a way to create books for LGBT adoptive families when she saw that the market was lacking in this subject.

I wanted to create books that were full of colour, fun and humour that would sit alongside all the other books our children enjoyed. Most of all I wanted affirming books that all children could appreciate because the topic of having Two Mums or Dads was simply incidental to the story.

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