A few weeks ago Sharon and I submitted T’s primary school application, and as soon as we pressed ‘submit’ it hit us. It suddenly dawned on us that this would be the last year of doing so many things that we’re currently used to, and I’m a little sad.
From family holidays whenever we wanted to midweek trips to Pets At Home (AKA the Free Zoo), we’ve been free to do as we pleased, but next year it’ll be very different. It’ll no longer be us against the local coffee house. It’ll be school drop-offs and pick-ups, after school clubs, school uniforms! There will be less time for ‘us’.
Or so it feels anyway.
Although this isn’t the first time things have changed, our routine changed drastically when he started nursery and I went back to work after maternity leave, for some reason this feels different. Nursery doesn’t feel full on or as intense as school does (perhaps because he doesn’t go full time?), so it doesn’t seem like he’s being taken away from us as much or for as long. Where as with school he’s going to be there almost double the amount of time as nursery what with the likelihood of after school clubs!
Whilst I’m incredibly excited to start this new chapter, I can’t help but feel a sense of dread and regret that I’ve missed some amazing opportunities or not made the most of the time we’ve had together.
To sound like a cliche, I still remember his first day at nursery like it was yesterday. He wasn’t crawling or walking and he was a dribbling, teething mess. He was on bottles and was still being breastfed before nursery and during the night! I can remember every first like they were seconds ago, and yet, here we are registering and soon to be starting school!
Whilst T is far from the baby we knew three years ago, he still seems so small. This is where I think my problems sit. I worry about what school will do to him. That we won’t be able to keep up with what’s being taught (do they do primary school night-school?) so that we can help him. That he won’t need us as much any more (school children still like cuddles, right?).
Surely he can’t be ready for school? He’ll be 4.
I know this has probably been said by every parent from the dawn of time, but…
He’s our baby!
I don’t know where the last three and a bit years have gone, and whilst this isn’t the end of it all – of course we will still have coffee dates and trips out – it doesn’t feel the same any more. It’s like an end of an era has begun.
Like I said, we’re both incredibly excited by what’s ahead. We can’t wait to follow him through this journey and meet him along the way, but there’s still a part of me that feels that our old routine, the old ‘us’, is now coming to an end.
I guess over the next few months we need to make to most of it. We need to get out as much as we can and make sure he is the best person he can be ready to take on school.
How did you feel when your little one(s) started school? How did you celebrate your last year?
1 comment
Lily is the same age and even though she’s going to be home educated, I also feel this. Time has gone so quickly, have I made the most of it? All that jazz. It’s awful. And what if HE doesn’t work? I can’t take this last year for granted in case it doesn’t work out and she ends up going to school. Even with HE, she’s going to need to do more learning-based stuff and we’ll have less freedom that we did. I hear you, this is HARD. xx
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