I don’t know about you, but when I have a day off or two I like to feel like I’ve accomplished something. Whether it’s completing the washing, giving the house a good clean or simply clearing some films off the Sky Box – I like to feel like I’ve done something productive. It doesn’t need to be memorable or life changing, but I need to feel like I’ve achieved something with my day. I hate wasting time with nothing.
In brief, it stems from the fact that over the past twenty-something years I’ve lost a lot of family members, family members who were quite young, in my opinion – so somewhere along the line something has been instilled into me telling me not to waste time. Now, I know doing all the washing or cleaning the house isn’t what you would call “making the most of time” but at the same time, neither is sitting on my back side playing Clash of Clans – at least with the washing it’ll then be done, or the house will be clean.
I guess the point of this post is that I had one of those days today where everything I had planned to accomplish went down the toilet. I planned to organise our Civil Ceremony photos only to find that we’d run out of ink in the printer. I planned to start editing a video we recently made, but couldn’t find the cable to connect the camera to the Mac. I planned to sell some stuff on eBay only to find my account is locked. I also planned to walk the pooch but it started raining just as I started getting him ready.
In the end, I organised all the photos on the Mac, watched some films and cooked S a nice meal for when she got home. Sure I did something, but it wasn’t good enough, especially for a day off.
S tells me just to relax, especially now and as it’s my day off, but I can’t just sit around – I need to do something. I know part of this is probably related to nesting and how I want even the smallest of tasks done around the house, but S will likely tell you I’ve always been like this. I’m quite proud that I have this mentality but at the same time I wish I could just do nothing without having to justify it.
As soon as beansprout arrives, I’m looking forward to the days when all this won’t matter, and all that will matter will be beansprout. I know there will still be days when it’ll all go wrong and things I’ve planned will have to wait, but I can accept that because I will have been looking after a baby all day, and those are the days when I know I’ll definitely be accomplishing something!