Patience Is a Virtue…… Really?!

The TWW after insemination is like the lead up to Christmas for me, or at least it was at first.

Our first insem couldn’t have gone better. Perfect timing. Everything was right, and then BANG! Kate came down with the worst cold bug I’ve ever seen in our six years together. (She’s never ever ill.)

Everything still seemed to be going in the right direction. She lost her taste for coffee, she had odd abdominal cramps, temps were up and even increased at times you’d expect implantation. Perfect!
So even with K being poorly, our hopes were still high and every day that went by, got higher.

Then the TWW came and went, so we started the pregnancy tests. Day after day we tested for what seemed like forever at the time, and nothing, yet K’s temperature was still up.

Now the frustration started to set in. We were contemplating on sending K to the doctors as something wasn’t right.

After three and a half weeks, AF decided to show herself and in the end it was a relief as we were starting to lose our minds over the BFNs.

It was incredibly disappointing, and after this experience we decided that regardless of how positive the situation looked we couldn’t get our hopes up like that again as it’s devastating when it’s a negative result.

The following month we had K’s dates and times down to a T but unfortunately for us our Donor couldn’t make the date we needed, but offered us every date under the sun he could do. This was an even bigger frustration for us as, again, everything was planned perfectly and, had it gone ahead, couldn’t have been timed better.

Our donor seemed to think that any day would do, and I have since had to explain in great detail how small the window is when you are TTC.

Thankfully, he has got the message now and we find the best way to work it for all of us, which is booking multiple dates in and around the expected ovulation dates, and so far so good.

Saying all of this, he’s very keen to never not let us down like he did in February, so we can tell he is doing everything he can to help.

So we’re now in the middle of our insem cycle for March as I write this.

Our donor was with us bright and early on Saturday morning (five days before I ‘expected’ ovulation) and tomorrow evening on what at the moment looks like it is going to be ‘O’ day going on the temperatures I’m recording. (K has a distinct pattern now.) We have everything crossed that this month goes well but as it’s so disheartening when it doesn’t work I’m using my usual technique and being pessimistic as that way a positive result (in theory) is more likely to happen to surprise me. (Hey, don’t knock it! It works for me.)

K and I just want to start a family and I know patience is a virtue, and it will happen when the time is right, but I can’t help being impatient over it all.

For the time being my glass is remaining half empty.

Sx