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‘Just’ The One

This week, my friend Tom wrote a fantastic post about...

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February 2023
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One Second Every Day: January. This is my first e

One Second Every Day: January.

This is my first ever 'One Second Every Day' and I've been chomping at the bits to share it. Thank you to @cigarettesandcalpol for sharing yours - they were such a joy to watch and really encouraged me to give it a go.

Social Media has a habit of making you feel like you should only share the highlight reel, and whilst in equal parts I don't think you should have to offer the rough to be allowed to share the smooth, I do feel that unless you have something to offer, good or bad, Social Media makes you feel like those bits in between are not worth sharing at all. The sunsets, the roast dinners, the epic dens underneath the dining room table, your pets.

The reason I, therefore, chose to take part in @1secondeveryday was to celebrate the mundane, the every day and the random, on top of those incredible, amazing and wonderful days, because without sounding wanky there is plenty to enjoy when you're not even trying.

When I looked back on this month I was reminded of the gorgeous small moments in between the big ones (like when the boy designed a sign for his bedroom door so that he didn't have to put his train track away. Smart-ass) that are often trumped or forgotten by the big moments. It reminded me that these moments are still happening, even if you don't post about them, and that you certainly don't need the approval of others before you can enjoy them.

If you're taking part in #OneSecondEveryDay this year please tag me in yours - they're such a treat.

I felt cute AF yesterday, despite working the prev

I felt cute AF yesterday, despite working the previous evening and being rudely awoken by two loud 7 year olds at 5:15am.

But the thing is, it took me a while to get there. See, I'm kinda struggling with my neuro-spiciness at the moment, and despite me loving the change of direction I'm experiencing in terms of my fashion and overall outlook on life, the internalised fuckery is still there, being all intrusive and rude.

Take this picture, I do look cute AF. I felt good about asking Sharon to take my picture, and had no qualms when people were looking at us a bit weird (we're used to that tbh), but the moment I looked at the picture my immediate reaction was horror. "Bloody hell, the state of me" I said under my breath, but then I felt utterly disappointed that I'd said that because guess who I was comparing myself to... Pre-COVID Kate. Pre-Baby Kate. Pre-unprecedented-fucking-times Kate. I mean, what the?! Why did my brain have to do me dirty like that? Why wasn't I allowed to just enjoy that moment?

Sure, my skin and body HAS changed, but who cares? My family sure as hell don't. It's also the result of a new job; where I'm so exhausted that I no longer want to visit the gym or go for a walk on my break. It's cake after long woodland walks. It's Christmas cheese. It's early starts and late nights. It's choosing pure happiness and joy.

I don't know what came over me to be so awful to myself - I should know better by now than to listen - but it happened and I still feel guilty because it wasn't deserved. She didn't deserve it. It failed to acknowledge what I've been through over the past year, how hard I've worked, and all the fun I've had.

I obviously can't guarantee it won't happen again, but hopefully, by acknowledging it and saying it out loud it will hopefully hold me to account and remind me that joy must always come first.

📍 The Blue Pool, Wareham, Dorset. Despite visi

📍 The Blue Pool, Wareham, Dorset.

Despite visiting Dorset quite regularly, we've never got round to visiting @the_bluepool. Situated in Wareham, and surrounded by gorgeous moorland, #TheBluePool is something out of a fantasy novel.

On this particular day, the infamous blue pool was frozen, which was a whole new experience for T when it came to skimming stones! It was captivating hearing the sound bounce off the ice and then seconds later just deathly silence. We spent ages trying to crack bits of ice, and when we found pieces on the ground it was like we were looking through Crystal glass.

Exploring the woods surrounding the lake though was, for me anyway, truly magical. I didn't know whether we were going to see fairies or Dinosaurs come round the corner! When I wasn't keeping an eye on the frosty ground, I was looking up through the tall trees. They were massive.

We've been on a fair few woodland walks in our time, but this was a whole new experience, and the lake made us feel like we were in Canada or somewhere similar. Certainly not the UK. Next time we visit Dorset, hopefully in the Spring or Summer, we will definitely try and visit The Blue Pool again.

Brilliant weekend. 10/10. Highly recommend. 👌

Brilliant weekend. 10/10. Highly recommend. 👌

We popped to a frosty Dorset this weekend to visit family; our first proper outing this year, and it was wonderful. But, just as we were enjoying some time at @the_bluepool (a new one for us, but absolutely magnificent) we were suddenly whisked back to normality. Today in particular has come like a smack to the face with a cold wet glove. I've got a to-do list the size of my arm and it's still bloody BALTIC. 🥶

That being said, if this weekend is an indication of what the rest of the year is going to be like, then I will take the tiredness and the occasional dropping of plates. Rough with the smooth and all that! 👍

How was your weekend? Did you get up to much?

New Year, Same Me. ✌️ The New Year always has

New Year, Same Me. ✌️

The New Year always has strong connotations with change or creating something new. "New Me..." and "New You..." are popular buzzwords the moment the clocks strike twelve, or you're encouraged to "better" yourself or change something. Don't get me wrong, I'm a huge fan of development and growth, and change when it's truly needed, but most of the time society's definition of this is not the change, development or growth anyone truly wants or needs.

Society is not fit for purpose, and it's certainly not built for marginalised communities. Capitalism and society dictate that as a mother, I'm not encouraged to focus on my career, my own pleasure or my mental health. As a Queer person I'm (still!) often not welcome in mainstream spaces unless I look or act a certain way. And as someone who is currently exploring their own neurodiversity I near to always get the sensation that I'm "too much" or not doing "enough".

But, towards the tail end of last year, and just like a lot of people, I was exhausted. So exhausted that I just stopped. Stopped trying to "fit" and blend in, or try to be something I'm really not, and it felt good. I realised that, actually, I get to enjoy life a bit more if I stopped paying attention to bogus expectations and started saying "no" a lot more. That if I just focused on what *I* want to do without the worry of what people thought, that a huge stress is lifted. Last year, I was so occupied with looking forward and doing all the things, just like society expects of us, that I forgot to look back and see how far I'd come already.

When was the last time you did that?

I mean, I still have A LOT of work to do (that imposter syndrome is strong!) but it's like a huge weight has been lifted recently and I just want to get it out there. Almost like a promise (or a receipt!) to myself.

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Oh my goodness he was so ready to get back to scho

Oh my goodness he was so ready to get back to school this morning.

How are we feeling this morning? I have mixed feelings.

This Christmas has been wonderful and I'm all too aware that we only have so many before they're all grown up, therefore part of me was quite sad when it was all over this morning. But, at the same, time we all need routine and some "normality". He needs his peers and I need to whack a hoover around his room a few times!

I think these feelings come from the fact that he also seems to have grown so much over Christmas, both mentally and physically, therefore for us it seems that everything is slipping by us so fast!

Can you relate at all?

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Archives

February 2023
M	T	W	T	F	S	S
		1	2	3	4	5
6	7	8	9	10	11	12
13	14	15	16	17	18	19
20	21	22	23	24	25	26
27	28

« Jan

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