Lesbemums: A Letter to T After His First Week of School.
This week, you started on the biggest journey of your life so far; School.
It’s an incredibly exciting time for you – something you keep reminding me – you’re finally going into “Big Kid” school! You’re no longer my baby – something else you tell me on a weekly basis – but instead a bright and confident little boy. Ready to take on the world.
The thing is though, I’m really going to miss you.
See, four years doesn’t seem that long, but in that time we’ve been through so much together.
Do you remember?
We’ve travelled through pregnancy as well as your arrival. We lived through almost two years of breastfeeding, where at times it felt like I hadn’t slept for days. Speaking of which, sleep deprivation was also a fond pastime of ours, as well as baby groups, library trips, and visits to numerous cafes! I carried you everywhere with me – including when I cooked and cleaned – you were far too good for your rocker/play mat/the floor. Your desire to be near me has never really wavered.
We experimented with food together when you began weaning at six months (including the food you found on the floor from breakfast. #TenSecondRule and all that). I watched you intently so you didn’t choke, but also in delight when you tried strawberries for the first time. Your love of food has never disappeared, and neither has my love of feeding you!
I’ve seen you take thousands of steps, hundreds of leaps, and several tumbles. You love to climb, swing, and swim, as well as kick, throw, and firmly lob. You love your sports and outdoor play, but you also have a wicked creative side.
My Darling, you’re growing up so fast. I’m so proud to know you, let alone call you my son, but now you’ve reached your most important milestone, probably of them all.
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Your first day went so well…
You proudly put on your uniform and carefully placed your school shoes on your feet. You stood at the front door for what must have felt like hours whilst your Mama and I got ourselves ready. I’ve never known you to be ready before us, let alone half an hour early! As soon as we opened the front door you were off up the road, ushering us to catch up with you. Your book bag was far too big for you but there was no way you were letting me carry it.
When we arrived, you did as you were asked and promptly made yourself at home – finding your name above your hook and claiming it as your own. Your eyes looked nervous, but your feet were taking you to so many places. I would have loved to have been inside your head that morning.
The hours dragged but the day flew by, but in no time we were reunited. You probably didn’t even notice I wasn’t there, but I definitely did.
I missed your constant questioning and the way you correct me after I say certain things – like incorrectly calling a diesel train a steamie or telling you how old Oscar is. I missed making you your lunch and hearing you call me very couple of minutes. I missed our little conversations – such as what Mr Bloom would eat for dinner.
The past four years have been the most precious of them all, sweetheart, I wish I could replay those special moments. I probably won’t miss the tantrums and the tears, mind you, but then again they still made you you, so I guess I can admit I’m somewhat grateful they existed.
As you start this new chapter, I can’t wait to watch you take on new challenges. I look forward to seeing your “art” and listening to tales of the playground. I’m chomping at the bits to watch a sports day or Christmas panto or two. I am excited by the new things you will learn and all the friends you’ll make. But most of all, I’m happy just to watch you grow and see the world through your eyes.
Please don’t be surprised though if I shed or tear or two, they’re happy tears – honestly. I’m just so proud of who you are becoming and what you’ve already achieved. I dreamt of you before you were even born, and what you might be like, but I can tell you right now, already, that you’re so much more than what I saw in my head.
As parents before us would say, these years are the most important of them all, and as I look at you in your school uniform I can now see what they meant! These years will no doubt fly by and in no time you’ll be taller than your Mama, but please don’t rush them and wish your life away, you’ll regret it in an instant.
Enjoy every moment and live life to the fullest, my child. Make new friends, whilst not forgetting to cherish the old ones. Explore new flavours, sights and sounds, and don’t forget to tell me everything. You only get one chance to experience this, so make please do make it count.
School. I can’t believe it. Where did the time go, but where shall we go next?