Father’s Day. It’s always been an odd day for me. I lost my dad to cancer when I was 10 so I’ve never really ‘celebrated’ the day. When I met S, I bought my first Father’s Day card in about 10 years – it was very strange.
This year, however, will be like no other year, as the day has now become Mumma’s Day for us. I’m still not sure I like it, as at the end of the day S is NOT a father. She’s also not a mother. She’s a Mumma. So where does she fit?
We both understand that there will probably never be a Mumma’s Day, which is why we have to make do with this day for now, but I still don’t like it. S isn’t really bothered, which annoys me. I want her to want a day to herself. But what do we do? Do we accept the day for what it is and hijack it as ours? Do we create our own day? The latter probably won’t be an option as it’ll be odd, later in T’s life, if all of a sudden T has this day that no one else is celebrating. However, if this is what he’d prefer later on then so be it.
We’ve toyed with the idea of sharing Mother’s Day, but S wanted me to have my own day, which is quite ironic considering she’s not bothered about having her own. I guess she doesn’t want a fuss made, but this just breaks my heart.
So we’ve accepted, for now, to have Mumma’s Day on this day. Father’s Day. T’s bought a unique card that’s not a Father’s Day card, or a Mother’s Day card – it’s perfect. On other years T may very well have to buy two Mother’s Day cards and save one for later, but that’s something he’ll have to work out. But for now, on S’s first Mumma’s Day, she has her own special card.
Happy Mumma’s Day!
K
5 comments
I lost my dad when I was 6 to cancer, and this has always been a day of sadness for me as a result. I think it’s great that this will be Mumma’s Day now, too. My best friend and her partner do this, too. It’s Mobu’s Day today (what Henry calls his other mama). It works out just fine.
I have thought about the whole Mother’s/Father’s Day thing a lot lately, in preparation for when my wife and I become moms. I assumed that we would share Mother’s Day, because I didn’t want one of us to be equated to ‘the father figure’ (similar to how some people assume one member of a lesbian couple ‘wears the pants’). However, I also really like the idea of reappropriating Father’s Day! Creating your own traditions (like Mumma’s Day) is what makes family life so special and memorable for kids.
I was so incredibly annoyed when everyone kept wishing me a Happy Father’s Day on FB. I totally don’t get it! Last time I checked I was a woman, and a quick panty check (well, boxer brief check) confirmed that! So I had to school some people on what’s appropriate and what’s not! Initially, we both celebrated Mother’s Day, but it was weird for me (nice, but weird) because I think I associate more with being a ‘dad’. So we decided that at our house it would be “Other’s Day”, like the other Mother’s Day…
This was my problem exactly. S isn’t a father, and she states that she’s not a mother – she’s a Mumma. It’s so hard, and it breaks my heart, but I know we’ll never have a separate day.
We’re not sure we actually liked celebrating her day on Father’s Day so I think we’re going to do what another blogger suggested and that is have a mother’s weekend whereby S has the Saturday and I have the Mothering Sunday. It means we both get a day and it’s close to actual Mother’s Day. We’ll see how that works. X
That’s actually a really great idea. I wasn’t crazy about celebrating on Father’s Day either, mainly because of the whole “Happy Father’s Day” thing. Mama’s Day Saturday is actually really cool! I’m gonna run that past Callie!
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