So our donor pulled out yesterday… Apparently, they loved their girlfriend too much and it would have felt like cheating.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not a heartless cow; I completely understand where they are coming from… something like this is huge and probably life changing and in some way (now), I can understand their point of view.
HOWEVER; when the donor, who already had a girlfriend when they initially agreed to assist us, then changes their mind out of the blue you tend to think think that they either never wanted to assist in the first place or they’re hiding something like an STD (at the time of pulling out S had just spoken to them about getting the relevant tests sorted).
Plus, it had been around 5 months since the whole thing was arranged and in my opinion, plenty of time for someone to think about it and then pull out.
To say I was heartbroken and upset was an understatement; not mention angry and disappointed. I don’t know whether I was more angry with the fact that I felt that we had been lead on, or by the fact that they had’t notified or discussed with us any of their concerns and just simply shut their door on us without warning. Either way, I was angry.
On top of all of this, S then started to blame herself as it was her “friend” in the first place!!
It was not a good day. I felt like a piece of hope had been completely been ripped out. It really hurt. I don’t know whether I would have been less upset if I saw it coming or not – I guess we’ll never know – but at that exact moment in time, I thought I had lost all chances of becoming a mum and I think that that is what hurt the most.
Once we had calmed down and had a good cry, we decided it best to brush ourselves off and move onto our next option… PrideAngel.