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Time To Talk: We Are Not Machines.

The other day, I had to sort out an issue...

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I'm so proud of this one at the moment (well, I al

I'm so proud of this one at the moment (well, I always am, but especially at the moment). He appears regularly on this feed, but I haven't stopped to celebrate him for quite some time and after today I think he deserves a little shout out.

See, we've had a lot of changes at home recently, from new projects and promotions to various adaptations to our routine - some varying in size - on what feels like a weekly basis.

This one, though, has just taken it all in his stride like the absolute legend that he is. We never put too much onto him, and yet every day he surprises us.

Today, though. Today was tough. Although it was my day off, I volunteered to do some overtime which, in the long run means £££, but it means with less than a week's notice I not only had to get him up at 6am and drop him off with friends at 7:30am (he's usually only having breakfast by this time!) but he had to then go to after-school club until 6pm. He was absolutely knackered when we got home, but there was no complaining or anything (tbh I'm pretty sure it was because they had pancakes and ice cream for their pudding!).

What's more is that Sharon is currently away for the week, so it's just me and him at the moment, but again he's just been amazing with it all; despite clearly missing his mama. I fully expected voices to be raised and for words to be said, but no. 👌

I don't remember what it was like at 7, but I certainly don't remember it being like this. School, and everything that comes home from it (spelling! reading! times tables!) would have been enough to turn me into a puddle every day, but he just smashes through it. He's also doing some extra bits on the side at the moment, all at his own request.

The word 'Proud' is an understatement to be honest. After this week alone he would be entirely in his right to blow up by now, and we would still be proud of him, but he's totally chill. We're so very very lucky to have him as our son.

If this sounds like a braggy post, good. It is.

[AD] Last week I was invited up to @tkmaxxuk in Ox

[AD] Last week I was invited up to @tkmaxxuk in Oxford Street to find out more about a newly commissioned piece of research to make Christmas shopping this year both productive and stress-free!

I don't know about you, but I loathe shopping in shops. It's often too busy and overwhelming. I don't like it. Turns out, I've been doing it wrong this whole time!

The behavioural scientists behind the research identified some of the most common difficulties shoppers experience this time of the year - ranging from cognitive overload (✋) to financial stress - and, as a result, they've produced a list of key rules to ensure Christmas shopping trips are more enjoyable. They're calling it the "Festive Five". Check them out below, and let me know if you can resonate.

🎁 Get Personal! Seek to find a more personal gift; it’ll be the perfect present.

A Behavioural Science principle called the “Labour Illusion” suggests we value really unique personal gifts more, as we perceive more effort has gone into them.

🛍️ Work out Who’s Who. Create groups or categories for those you need to buy gifts for.

“Chunking” is a behavioural process whereby you give your brain a break by creating categories and groups – so within your gifting recipient list, work out your fashionistas from your budding chefs to your under £10-ers, for maximum efficiency.

🛒 Get a Game Plan (Make a plan and stick to it).

The behavioural science principle of Implementation Intentions says that we are much more likely to follow through on our intentions if we make a simple plan of how we will carry them out. Ticking things off as we go also leverages the Goal Gradient Effect.

🎅 Enhance Your Focus. Music matters so get yourself a shopping playlist.

Classical music has been shown to increase focus and concentration, whilst upbeat music can help with feeling positive and motivated.

🎄Go On… Treat Yourself!! Whether it’s a cup of tea and a biscuit or a glass of fizz. Give yourself a pat on the back.

Physiological research has shown that motivation increases significantly when we reward ourselves.

🌟 If you have any hints and tips for making shopping more enjoyable, let me know! 🌟

[AD] 🚨Video contains some flashing🚨 This tim

It's very rare that I'm entirely lost for words as

It's very rare that I'm entirely lost for words as my brain usually overcompensates and gives me extra than I asked for! But, right now, I'm at an impasse. I feel angry and sad. Heavy but completely restless. I feel the need to say something, but I'm so BORED of being a broken record. I'm tired of being the bigger person. Tired of having to reaffirm and educate. I'm anxious about what the future looks like, not just for my Trans* friends and family, but for my son, and I hate to admit it, but I'm a little bit scared. I'm sure I'm not alone when I say that.

As well as trying to function as a regular human being, with routines that I struggle with at the best of times, I'm now - once again - expected to be resilient. I've probably written this post a hundred times, each time with a different message.

At least one thing has been made certain, and that is allyship really is seasonal. It's transactional and it's clearly there as a tool for performance and exploitation. Shame on me for believing more of our allies and expecting anything more than the bare minimum.

LGBTQ folk around the world are just trying to live their lives and go about their day. We want to travel, to grow families, to be our most authentic selves. Which is why so many choose not to talk about tragic events. I don't blame them. We just want to live. But it's so evident that we can't have that - not even in our private spaces. It feels like we haven't truly recovered from the last fire, before the next one has started. One that, as many have already said, we didn't start in the first place.

We just want to live.

✌️

We managed to find ourselves completely free of an

We managed to find ourselves completely free of any plans today, so we decided to take ourselves off to @bodiamcastlent with friends for the day. We even managed to score a decent Sunday roast in a country pub!

We haven't been to #BodiamCastle for quite some time, but we're so glad we left it until #Autumn because the trees alone were something to behold; let alone the views from the top of the castle! 🏰 Even if you're not that local to it, Bodiam Castle is such a great little outing - especially for kids. It's around an hour from Brighton, but well worth the journey. As well as the castle and surrounding grounds, across the road is said country pub, and just down the road is a vintage railway. 👌

After quite a busy couple of weeks, today has reset us nicely for the next few. Looking at T's calendar alone - with nativities and discos - it's going to be hectic to say the least!

How about you? How's your weekend been?

P.s. I'm really enjoying creating these silly little reels at the moment (although next year on my Christmas list is a gimbal to steady my hand!!). Whilst they may take me sometime to create, they really capture what it's like when we explore perfectly. I'm hoping the more I do them the better I'll become. 🤞

No, because he was only a baby last week! 😭 Wh

No, because he was only a baby last week! 😭

Where did that neck come from? He's 7, going on 17. 😭😭

Just to add salt to the wound, swipe for a comparison. 😭😭😭

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