Not everything in this life is figured out yet. We have absolutely no idea why we’re actually here on this planet, but we just kind of guess and get on with things to the best of our ability. We also do things that are quite weird but make us feel good, so we don’t tend to question the rationality of them! Regarding our purpose of this planet, one thing is for sure, though, and it’s that we have to pass on our genes and raise the next generation over and over again. We need to continue to focus on the next generation and continue this species on as it makes more and more discoveries and advancements. That’s it. That’s literally the one thing we know we must do; continue creating more humans and nurturing them!
Are you expecting a new one on the way in some capacity? Well, if you are, then congrats! You should be super excited and very proud of yourself for hitting this stage of your life. You often hear from parents that it’s the most rewarding job in the world and, well, it absolutely is. It is hard work, but you’ll feel so much better about life whenever you have the little one in the arms.
We just touched on it, but this job really is hard work, and you must get to grips with everything if you’re going to be a successful and loving parent or guardian. It’s not the most glamorous job in the world at times, but it’s all part of life and becoming a caregiver. If you’ve been given the green light and that you’re going to be the parent(s) of a new little one, then you’re going to need to get your backside into gear and focus on what’s ahead of you. You don’t need to become supermom or super dad just yet as nobody really manages that feat, but you can certainly start learning all kinds of things.
Here are just a few things you should probably do if you’re hoping to become the best possible guardian to your new arrival…
Recognise quickly that it IS happening
Some parents-to-be don’t quite understand what they’re about to head into, unfortunately. Now, whether that’s to do with shock or apathy is an entirely different conversation, but it does tend to happen pretty often. You’re about to become a parent to a small human that absolutely NEEDS your help every single day. Your life used to be about the things you wanted – now it’s about what your little one will want. They are about to become your life, so you better understand that pretty quickly. Sure, your life and your goals do not just completely vanish, but they should be put on the back-burner for a while as you’ve different priorities to focus on now!
Realise that this is a long-term thing
Following on from the previous point, you’re going to need to realise that this isn’t just a case of working hard for a little while and then letting them get on with life. Sure, some parents probably allow freedom way sooner than they should, but this is a job that will span at least a couple of decades – and that’s only regarding direct work and contact. You never really stop being a parent to them for as long as you’re alive! You’re going to be in this for the long haul. You’re going to be worrying about them and thinking about what would be the best for them until the day you are no longer. Life as you know it has ended, and you’re about to embark on something entirely new with all kinds of different feelings.
Enjoy the process
This article has started off by highlighting that it’s a pretty pressured job, but we don’t want to stress you out, of course – it doesn’t mean that you should head into this new life with fear and anxiety. The point of stressing that a lot of work is necessary is so that they don’t take this situation and treat it as a game.
You should enjoy the new life though – life is to be enjoyed, of course. There will be so many memories made along with this new life; you’re going to be just as happy with these plans as you would have been with the plans you had as an independent couple with no little one(s) around.
Educate yourself on everything parenting
Nobody really knows everything about being a parent – just like how nobody really knows everything about living life the best possible way. We’re pretty close in terms of knowing exactly how to get everything right, but everyone’s different, so there are many variables from person to person. The best thing to do both before the baby arrives and when they are here is to continually learn. Don’t just read a few things and think you may have gotten to grips with what you need – that’s negligent. Hop online and read up on absolutely everything. What clothes to buy, some tips for baby sleep safety, how to feed probably, how to deal with stress – these are all pretty handy to know, among many other points, so get researching!
Educate yourself on important life issues
This is something you should kind of be doing anyway as this world is full of so many different social and political points. You might want to ramp this kind of thinking up a little as a potential parent, though, as you’re going to want to raise your child properly and give them every opportunity. If you know about important issues surrounding this life, then you’re going to set a good example to your child as they grow and learn. They’ll also be able to come to you for help in the future. Another benefit of doing this is that you’ll learn more and more about serious issues in other communities and in the one(s) you inhabit.
Work together
Okay, if you’re taking on the mantle all by yourself, then you won’t have a partner to share this job and these experiences with. You could, of course, get help from friends and family, so it’s not going to be a burden that lies exclusively with you all of the time.
If you are expecting with your partner by traditional means, by surrogacy, or by adoption, then you two will have to make sure that you work as a team pretty much all the time. Things can get a little awkward if you do things on your own – the confusion can be dangerous. If you work together now, then it’ll only strengthen the bond you two have together. It’ll also help further on down the line when they grow up. Did you ever ask your mother and father something and they staunchly gave you different answers? It was annoying, right? Don’t be like that for your child.
Get your finances in order
Again, this is something you should probably be doing anyway if you want to live a comfortable and happy life, but it becomes even more amplified when another human being comes along. We get helped along the way slightly when it comes to our finances when we become parents, but it’s not a free ride by any stretch of the imagination. You need to grow up a little and take fiscal responsibility once you become a parent. You need the money in order to take care of your kids, so be sure to plan out your financial future and be sensible with your wage/salary.
Get your own wellness in order
Work on yourself before he or she arrives, and be sure to continue focusing on your own wellness for as long as you can. Obviously, you shouldn’t prioritise yourself over your child, but you need to be in good condition in order to take good care of them. Boost your physical fitness, look out for your energy levels day-in, day-out, and always keep on top of your mental health. If you’re doing okay, then you’ll be in a better position to raise your child properly.
Talk to a professional if you need to
We’ll sort of follow on from the previous point with regards to your mental health. If you’re struggling mentally in general, or the news of your pending parenthood is getting to you a little, then there’s no shame in speaking to a professional and opening up a little. There are, of course, people you can speak to that can help you out with being a parent, too.
Be positive from now on
This is a lot easier to talk about than it is to actually do, but it’s worth doing. If you can see the good in absolutely everything, then you’re going to enjoy life a lot more. Even when things go a little south, a positive mind will be able to dig itself out of things. If you practise being a positive person, then you’ll not only benefit personally, but your child will pick up little traits from you, too. It goes without saying that you’ll want your kid(s) to be happy and optimistic more often than not, right?
Feature image credit: Daiga Ellaby / Unsplash
