We’ve followed 2AussieMummas since day one, before we even began trying, so it’s a real treat to have them talk to us and feature for LGBT History month.
Fourth in our featured families segment, I introduce Tara from Austrailia!
Who are you?
My name is Tara, 30+ Australian mother, wife, blogger-on-hiatus.
How long have you been with your partner?
We just celebrated Seven years of being together this past January. Married for five years this coming May.
Where did you meet?
We met in a most cliché way! I was visiting a friend out of town for one night only and planning a big move up the coast. My friend took me out to the local gay pub where Diana Anaid was playing and the rest is history!
How many children do you have? How old are they?
We have one three and a half year old son that my wife carried.
What’s the best thing about being a parent?
There is so much. The laughs, giggles, hugs! Those moments where my son will take my face in his hands and say something profound and for those few moments the world is perfect. Running through the sprinkler together on a summer day. Seeing him with his grandparents. I love the small moments, the moments that I know he will think back on later in life and know he is loved.
What challenges, if any, have you faced as a same sex family?
We are very very lucky. We have never actually had to deal with negativity directly. Both of our families are supportive and love us and the fact that we are lesbians isn’t even a thing. We have a diverse circle of friends, and live in an area that is pretty open minded.
The times I have felt disheartened and reminded of the challenges we face as a family have been when I allow current political climate and the lack of marriage equality in Australia etc to get to me. We have come so far but there is still so far to go.
Has it been easy to teach your children about diversity? Have they encountered any problems? If so, how did you react?
We make a point to teach our son of the amazing diversity that surrounds him. At this stage, through age appropriate conversations and the books we have chosen for him.
Regarding him encountering any problems, we have been lucky here also. Being only three and a half, he and his peers aren’t really concerned with gender and gender roles yet. He has been asked about having two mums or not having a dad and he just answers in a very matter of fact way that he only has a Mummy and a Mum. I have been present when this occurs and I feel that it’s best to stand back and allow him to handle it as long as he feels that he can.
If someone was to bully him about having two mums I would step in if he needed me and it would open a new dialogue for us as a family. I have my fingers crossed that doesn’t happen any time soon.
What would be your message to a young person “coming out” today?
Read as much as you can, connect safely with people online, join a group, see a talk to people you trust.
Depending on your family and where you live you may experience little to no issues with coming out. Try and gauge that first and if you aren’t in a safe environment, seek help from someone like a counsellor or friend. Don’t keep it locked away, there is nothing wrong with you! Utilise all the amazing information and people that are out there! It may be a scary thing for you personally but the world is ready for you!
What would be your message to a couple starting out on the TTC journey?
Hold on to your hats! HAHA!
No really, it’s the most insane ride you will ever take. Before you even start, get your general health in order and get your reproductive health checked. You could end up having to waste time when you decide to actually start if not. We got set back quite a bit after finding that my wife needed her chicken pox vaccination and couldn’t fall pregnant for a while after, it was so disappointing!
Also, your relationship. No one ever tells you what a toll it takes! People tell you TTC is hard. Well it is… But that’s truly only the start. Be prepared for your relationship to be tested and retested more times than will be comfortable. Make sure to always make time for your partner. Make sure she always knows she is loved. And communication, communication, communication!
How about those especially worried about persecution?
This is a tough one. I have heard about people living in towns where they were the only gay family and were quite persecuted or having families that did not accept their partner or children their partner carried. For me, this would not have been acceptable and to be honest, if we had lived in a town where we were afraid of persecution we would have figured out a way to move before starting a family.
As for family, I would make a choice between my wife and our son and the people that could not love us. It sounds a little black and white but for me happiness and love is the goal, I could not live an unhappy life where my family was unloved.
What does LGBT History mean to you?
I am so grateful to those that have come before me. The men and women that have fought, struggled and died for us to be able to live in a world where gay people can now live open and happy lives in so many parts of the world.
I also feel that we shouldn’t stop here and just be grateful. We should carry the torch that has eben passed to us. Keep making history, keep educating, keep fighting for equality.
Where can we find you?
Blog: http://2aussiemammas.blogspot.com.au/ (blog currently inactive, but still may have some useful info)
This post is part of a month long celebration for LGBT history month. If you’d like to get involved, tweet using the hashtag #LGBTHM or find one of your local LGBT groups on Facebook and find out how they’re celebrating LGBT History Month.