A Letter to T After His First Week of School

My Dearest,

This week, you started on the biggest journey of your life so far; School.

It’s an incredibly exciting time for you – something you keep reminding me – you’re finally going into “Big Kid” school! You’re no longer my baby – something else you tell me on a weekly basis – but instead a bright and confident little boy. Ready to take on the world.

The thing is though, I’m really going to miss you.

See, four years doesn’t seem that long, but in that time we’ve been through so much together.

Do you remember?  Continue reading

School: Why Does it Feel Like Goodbye?

Today is T’s last day at nursery. His last day. How did that happen? I remember viewing his nursery and getting butterflies in my stomach. It was perfect, and the people were perfect. He then started just before his first birthday (as he decided to arrive late and my maternity leave ended just before his birthday) and what followed was the most wonderful three and a bit years.

Nursery was like a second home and the people like an extended family. They changed countless nappies, saw some of his first steps (maybe even his first, but they never told us!) and watched him as he weaned. They cuddled him when he fell and taught him so many amazing things, and for that I am eternally grateful.

I remember his first day like it was yesterday. He was so small. He was “still” breastfeeding and he was barely crawling – Chubby McSitstill I used to call him. He didn’t start walking until he was 15 months – something that staff were equally over as overjoyed about as we were. Anyway, I digress. I don’t need to fall down that memory wormhole.

So, despite T being so ready for school and feeling incredibly excited about starting next week, why does it feel like one massive goodbye?

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Milestones: The Last Year

A few weeks ago Sharon and I submitted T’s application for Primary Schools, and as soon as we pressed ‘submit’ it hit us. It suddenly dawned on us that this would be the last year of doing so many things that we’re currently used to, and I’m a little sad.

From family holidays whenever we wanted to midweek trips to Pets At Home (aka the free zoo), we’ve been free to do as we pleased, but next year it’ll be very different. It’ll no longer be us against the local coffee house. It’ll be school drop offs and pick ups, after school clubs, school uniforms! There will be less time for ‘us’.

Or so it feels anyway.

Although this isn’t the first time things have changed, our routine changed drastically when he started nursery and I went back to work after maternity leave, for some reason this feels different. Nursery doesn’t feel full on or as intense as school does (perhaps because he doesn’t go full time?), so it doesn’t seem like he’s being taken away from us as much or for as long. Where as with school he’s going to be there almost double the amount of time as nursery what with the likelihood of after-school clubs!

Whilst I’m incredibly excited to start this new chapter, I can’t help but feel a sense of dread and regret that I’ve missed some amazing opportunities or not made the most of the time we’ve had together.

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