Parenting as Beginners (2 Week Update)

It’s been two weeks since T arrived into the world, and what a two weeks it’s been. I’m currently in the middle of writing several other posts including my birth story as I want to document it properly, but I thought I’d get back into the swing of things with an update as to where we are right now and what we’ve been up to.

Since arriving home from the hospital (I was home less than 12 hours after delivery) I’ve pretty much been a milking machine. T currently feeds every 2-3 hours during the day and would probably sleep through for 4-6 hours at night if we left him but as we want to make sure he’s getting enough food we wake him gently for a feed (dream feeding I think it’s called) every 3 hours after the last feed and then put him back in his Moses basket for another 3 hours.

This night time schedule comes after a little scare we had on Day 2 after I woke on my own accord at 5:00am wondering why T hadn’t woken me for a feed as his last feed had been 11:00pm. After frantically waking S, she checked him and noticed he was a little cold, however after quickly picking him up he was just fast asleep. After swallowing my heart and calming down after hysterical crying we decided to in future wake him for a feed every 3 hours. This is working well at the moment, and apart from one night of cluster feeds where he stirred every 30-40 minutes non-stop from 11:00pm, we have a pretty sweet routine. Breastfeeding has certainly had its challenges. Challenges I’ve had to overcome personally and challenges that both T and I have had to deal with together, but I feel this is a whole different post.

I’m surprisingly energetic (by this I mean I’m not yawning my head off constantly) considering I get roughly 2 hours solid sleep between feeds and checking he’s alright (I’m sure the latter will stop eventually). I know I should be napping when he naps but I always seem to find stuff to do whether it’s catching up on TV shows or a spot of housework. Besides, I’m very conscious of the fact that S has limited time off and will be returning to work at the end of the month, so I want to make sure we make the most of the time together, not to mention me making the most out of still having two people in the house to look after T!

Over the past two weeks we’ve managed to go out quite regularly – even if it’s just a walk around the block with the dog – as well as have actual home-cooked meals at the dinner table! We got emergency ‘easy’ meals such as gammon steaks, chips, fresh pasta and sauces, etc in the freezer a few weeks before I was due but we’ve actually been able to cook meals (and eat them without interruption!). Our first outing was Day 2 (albeit a long walk to the local shops) and we went out in the car to town on Day 8 (which apparently is a BIG thing according to mums I spoke to in the feeding room of Mothercare). Although a big task at times, getting out as a family has done me the world of good. Very quickly I was in between going stir crazy and becoming a recluse. I wanted to go out and get some air but I knew that preparing a baby (and us) can take a while so I didn’t want to bother, however I’m glad I did, mainly because S looks so proud pushing our son around the shops.

Half of what’s happened over the past two weeks, if not more, probably wouldn’t have been possible without my wife. S has been truly truly amazing. She’s kept an eye on the little things like making sure I’ve eaten and showered, and that the occasional wash is put on, as well as the big things like keeping me mentally strong. I’m not going to lie, it’s been hard. I’ve had to learn so much as well as make a lot of changes/adaptations, but S has made me quickly ignore the little things and remind me that she’s here for me as well as T, something I am so thankful for.

Our lounge has changed somewhat to cater for T, and our washing up regularly gets left until the next morning, and you know what: I actually couldn’t care less. HONESTLY! T is the most important thing right now, and if changing our lounge to cater the way we look after him is what we need to do, then I’ll do it, and if leaving the washing up until the next morning means we can get to bed before 10:00pm, then great! I said before he arrived that I would try not to change the way I do things, but you really don’t get a choice – it just happens, and I’m totally cool with it.

On a day-to-day basis we tend to wake between 5:00am and 7:00am depending on how the night feeds went and then make a plan for the day, if we don’t already have any plans. Whether it’s a walk with the dog or a sofa day we do try and have something planned so I can say I’ve done something valuable with our time (again, this is something I need to do in my head). Our busier days (which wouldn’t have been classed as ‘busy’ at all a month ago) are usually the days when we have visitors as we have to make sure we’ve timed feeds and got ourselves ready – who knew it could take 5 hours to get all three of us ready and representable!

And finally… the reason you probably all visited… T.

He is amazing. I mean, truly amazing. It sounds corny but he lights up our whole world, even when he’s asleep, and really is our everything – I’ve almost forgotten what life was like before he arrived (although maybe my subconscious feels it may be better that I don’t remember what life was like before sleepless nights and dirty nappies).

At the moment I can’t think too deeply about him too much without welling up (although I think this is still something to do with hormones). We are so in love with him and being his mummies is nothing like we imagined. Sure, we expected the nappies, the crying, and the sleepless nights. We knew we’d love him more than anything, but we never expected the physical ache in our hearts, or the fact that his smell is intoxicating. I didn’t think I could miss him when he slept or not give a hoot when a flying accident happened to spray onto my favourite t-shirt. We are so in love.

So that’s where we are right now. I didn’t think my brief update would be so long but I guess a lot more goes on than you realise, and that’s just with one baby – I really do feel for those with twins!

If I’ve left anything out, please shout!

K