Things People Don’t Tell You… About Trying to Conceive a Gayby

10. Sperm is minging. That is all. It also does some crazy shit with your body.

9. You will end up talking about babies regardless of what you’re currently discussing. Watching f.r.i.e.n.d.s? Yep, that little top that Emma is wearing will move on to “Awww. That looks nice…” leading on to “I can’t wait to pick out clothes, etc etc.” You have a topic, I can move it onto babies in one move.

8. People around you will be pregnant or having babies. They will also offer advice despite not being asked for advice.

7. You will lose all boundaries with your partner. There is nothing about me that S has not seen in every shape and form.

6. You are asking a bloke to masturbate in your home (for us anyway) and (probably) your future babies room. Make sure you’re confident in discussing this with said donor so that they know where they stand. The last thing you want is for them to think the deed will be done naturally.

5. Bedroom fun may not be the same without a pillow (or two) underneath your backside.

4. Whether you’re inseminating at home or via a clinic, you will never 100% relax. You’re thinking about the process, the future and, especially, TO RELAX!!!!!

3. Cervical Mucus will become an everyday topic similar to “How was your day?” What once was a private bodily fluid that your partner would never need to see will be analysed, logged and written down FOREVER and referred back to over and over and over again.

2. Not all donors are the same. In one session of emailing we have received back emails from donors who…

• Think it’s acceptable to post their goods to you.
• Will only accept Natural Insemination.
• Will not want to take the relevant tests. (THESE ONES ARE A BIG NO NO. AVOID AVOID AVOID!)
• There will also be the ones who have done it before and are very professional, and those who haven’t, however will be keen to help regardless.

1. It can (and probably will) take FOREVER. We have (so far) been TTC for a few months and already we feel like it will never happen. It will get you down and you will likely worry that something is wrong but most of the time (I would always recommend you check it out if you are genuinely worried) nothing is wrong.

With all this in mind, the main thing that people don’t tell you about TTC is that you are not alone. The amount of ‘bloggy friends’ we have found over the past few months who are all in the same boat as us was completely unexpected. I knew that there was a community out there, but I didn’t think that we would be welcomed with open arms so quickly.

I genuinely thought that it would take us a while to get replies or even a ‘like’, and that we would be ‘Yet Another Lesbian TTC Blog’, but, if anything, the experience is quite the opposite.

There are still ‘cliques’ out there, ones who only seem to reply to each other and no one else, you will find them very quickly. However, there are 10 times more than those who are lovely people out there who will help you and guide you, despite going through the same thing as you – these are the keepers.

K