19w2d Update

So here we are…

You’ve read all the updates up until now – we feel terrible for not announcing as soon as possible, for not keeping you guys in the loop, but we couldn’t bring ourselves to announce something amazing and then having to announce something terrible. We’d rather just announce the once. We hope you understand. Believe us when we say that apart from our parents, you guys were the next to find out!

Anyway, we’re currently 19w2d with our 20 week scan booked for the 12th November (20w6d).

Things I’ve experienced since our last proper update include:

Bump: This has been a constant debate in my head. Before losing tons of weight, I was a big big girl. So when I started to show, I genuinely believed it was just my previous fat belly showing its ugly head. I had heard, like second time mums, that your previous ‘room’ that was made by the first baby, or in my case the fat, would show a lot sooner as the space has already been stretched. Thankfully, I was reassured by my midwife that, although you bloat, if you were gaining fat you would be putting it on else where such as your face, which has also had the room made by old fat previously. So that helped, and I can happily say that I’m now forming a nice, solid (something else different from my old fat) bump (pictures to follow soon).

Tears: I’m more emotional than before. A lot more emotional, and it’s very irritating as I’m not an emotional person. I’m not dead inside, I’m just very matter of fact with certain things and with this, I rarely cry – with happy or sad things (apart from that bloody donkey sanctuary commercial with the donkey that has to walk miles a day – I hate that ad). Over the last few weeks, I have cried at the following:

• Music coming from a crib mobile.
• One of the cats washing the dog.
• S bringing home flowers.
• A simple cuddle in bed.

Rage: Leading on from tears, also comes rage, or sometimes the other way round. Let’s just say I’ve lost it a lot quicker than I would have done before… again, very irritating. I’m quite hot blooded anyway being my mothers daughter and part Greek, combining that with my OCD and having these hormones have made it a lot worse. Poor S has been on the receiving end of most my disproportionate outbursts but I think she is handling it well by ignoring how unreasonable I’m being and going a long with it. When it’s safe to approach me, she asked whether she could have a traffic light system so that when she’s reaching the stage of me getting annoyed about something she’s not done when I’ve asked, I warn her by saying “Amber”. It sounds harsh, but it’s a way for me not getting annoyed but to also give her a get-out-of-jail-free card. So far we haven’t used it, but if she doesn’t clear her receipts of the sideboard soon, I will.

Back pain: More so sciatic pain around my left bum-cheek and on the rump. I think it’s come from the constant laying on my left side when I sleep but there’s nothing I can do about that. I’m dealing with it in the form of my Click Heat pads walking it off at work.

Hunger: They told me that hunger would be a huge thing in the first trimester and will subside during the second, however for me I’ve not had a break. I’ve continued to eat really well during the pregnancy, which has meant I haven’t gained any unexpected weight, but in addition to this I’m constantly hungry. My day usually starts with toast or cereal for breakfast (usually a bran based product to fill me up), but then an hour later I’m ravenous, want-to-rip-my-arm-off-and-eat-it hungry. I then eat several pieces of fruit spaced out throughout the day, a salad, sandwich (depending if I had bread for breakfast), or left over pasta from the night before, with a yoghurt for lunch, with more fruit and/or nuts with either popcorn, sesame-snaps or raw veg to act as snacks.

Dinner is then a light (ish) meal so that it doesn’t bloat me but fills me up – thankfully we cook a wide variety of dinners so I’m never bored of food, however the hunger during the day has started to depress me. I eat little and often as advised but what I’m eating obviously isn’t cutting it. I’m still struggling now to find that perfect snack without spending too much on food or spending my life in the kitchen cooking. Any advice would be great.

And finally…

KICKS! It started at 18w4d with a week or two prior to that of feeling bubbles in the muffin top area, like when you leave an aero to melt on your tongue. At first I thought it was gas, but then it became too regular and (most of the time) there wasn’t any gas to follow, and then one night after finishing four pieces of my favourite Milka chocolate, I felt it. A little delicate thud from inside.

It was a bizarre feeling but as soon as I noticed it, it had gone. Did I just imagine that? I quickly told S and lifted my top up to look – I’m not sure what I was expecting, but it felt like the right thing to do. She ran to my end of the sofa and knelt down next to me, both of us looking intently at my stomach, and then it happened again. A little twitch right below my belly button. Both of us jumped and started crying, more so than me (this is a common occurrence).

As mentioned previously, pregnancy isn’t always the most relaxing time as you don’t know what’s going on inside and whether they’re OK – but this sort of thing is just what I needed, a nice reassuring thump to say “Hello, I’m in here!”

Finally, I’m really enjoying reading up on everyone’s progress, especially PepiBebe who have recently announced a BFP – I’m so excited (and emotional) for you guys. I’m also super chuffed to be pregnant at the same time as a long-term blogger who I’ve followed since Day 1, Al from The Gayby Project – it’s really nice to have someone at around the same stage as me.

K