So as you may have read in K’s previous blogs, we are now approaching “D day” or as I should say “I Day”.
Over the last few weeks, I have been getting myself worked up over every little thing. The first major blow up was our financial situation, given the maternity package K is entitled to (which is the absolute basic). At one point, I was tempted to take the role on as the oven as my employer is A LOT more generous with the package they offer, as well as flex-working, but it would be incredibly hard for me to continue my job if I was the pregnant one as I’m the sole person in my department. Thankfully, after sitting down and working out everything, it turns out that we would be able to cope absolutely fine, so I dropped that idea very quickly (although it’s not off the cards if we decide to go for baby no.2).
Now comes my BIG part in the conception process, and I’ve got to be perfectly honest with you all, I’m absolutely terrified.
I am so nervous that I’m going to make a mess of the insemination that I have visions spilling all of the sperm, or breaking the syringes, and not having anything to complete the job. I’m one of the most clumsiest people ever, so it’s not surprising I’m feeling like this.
I know once I get to it I’ll be fine, but up until the day I’m going to be a nervous wreck.
Anyone who knows me would tell you that I always play the worst case scenario over and over in my head regardless of how easy the task may be, and as time passes this over thinking the situation make me worse. (I did exactly the same thing in the run up to our wedding, and that turned out absolutely fine)
I suppose in some ways it’s a good thing; as it means that if I’m always prepared for things to go wrong, then generally things will tend to work out for the best. It’s a weird Ying/Yang thing that seems to follow me wherever I go, and it works in complete opposite for me – if I’m confident something is going to be fine, something usually screws up. I’m obviously just a “the glass is 1/2 empty” person.
I’ve now done so much research into what I need to do and how to do it, as well as everything that I need K to do, now I just need to write myself a condensed guide so I don’t forget anything. (YES, I’m that anal about these things). I guess that as long as I stay calm, and and keep K calm and relaxed there shouldn’t be anything to worry about. Then all we have to worry about are our nerves when it comes to the pregnancy test.
Watch this space, and please keep your fingers crossed for us.