Whilst reading blogs related to LGB couples trying for a baby, I have noticed a massive trend… there is no donor. I mean, there obviously IS a donor, but the donors are rarely mentioned at all during the process. Not one little bit.
Now, I wholeheartedly understand that the process is about one couple’s journey in parenthood – but the donor is also a HUGE part of this and I, for one, would actually love to read about the donor. Not about what they’re like or their sperm count but more so about perhaps why you chose them? Or perhaps the meeting if you met them in person? Or even the process you went through choosing them.
Deciding to have a child with your partner is a huge decision and likewise, then choosing a donor. In my opinion, reading about another couple’s decision and the whole journey would have made our decision and the whole process a lot less stressful and we probably would not have wondered (so much) whether we were doing it “right”.
Don’t get me wrong, I completely understand that it is not about the donor; nor is it anyone else’s business, it is about the couple wanting a baby, and certainly if the donor is anonymous then it is difficult to mention them, but I have read a lot (and I mean A LOT) of blogs relating to ladies trying for a baby and it is rare for them to mention the donor – and I want to know why. They are a big part of this process and it amazes me that not even a mention is included. I do not expect couples to put a whole profile of them on or to have a guest post from the donor but I am just curious as to why they haven’t even been mentioned.
Perhaps I’m barking up a very large, very wrong, tree, and I certainly don’t want to insult anyone, but certainly with our journey we want to detail almost everything – especially in the hope that it may help another couple down the way – but at the very least so WE remember the journey. We want to be able to go back and read about everything that happened and laugh (and cry). Without the somewhat major details of the donor, and the process that came with it, I don’t think that we would be telling an honest story at all.
So, if possible, to all the lovely ladies that are trying or have had a child with your partners, did you mention the donor? If not, why did you not talk about the donor? If you did, why? Did you mention them to your family? Perhaps if you’re already writing a similar blog to ours, will you mention the donor? I’d love to know.
Likewise, if you have any questions relating to choosing the right donor, get in touch!